It seems like a bad word. People seem to whisper when they mention it. Virginity. According to the Oxford English Dictionary it is defined as “the condition of being or remaining in a state of chastity; abstinence from or avoidance of all sexual relations.”

And in college, it’s almost non-existent. It’s no secret college kids have sex. Girls, boys, goats, it doesn’t matter. There’s a lot of boots being knocked at BU and on campuses all over the country.

But what about the ones who aren’t having sex? The virgins. The ones people think are missing out on something by not getting laid during Spring Break or in their dorm rooms on a Friday night.

Now, I know there are virgin males scattered all over campus, but I’m going to talk about female virginity, because, I’m a girl (gasp!) and I’m a virgin (double gasp!). And it’s not because I’m overly religious or because I can’t get a date. It’s not because I have some horrible disease or because I have no sex drive. It’s not because I’m a troll or think boys are icky. It’s simply because I haven’t found someone special who I’m totally in love with.

Virginity isn’t what the 1950s ideal made it out to be. I don’t wear my bobby socks and pin curls and have cookie-baking meetings with my fellow virgins. I talk about the dirty details of my dates just like every other girl I know. Thing is, my conversation stops when it comes to the “getting laid” part. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve macked down like the rest of you. But I haven’t gotten to a few of the bases because of that love thing I told you about.

It’s old-fashioned, but I don’t see the point in having a meaningless tryst on a Friday night — you’re covered in eyeliner and hair products, he’s in a pair of Dickie’s shorts and backwards baseball cap, and you both smell like Marlboros and Corona. I’m not looking for a white lace bedspread, vanilla-scented candles, and some Sade playing in the background either. I’m just looking for someone who’s going to love me as much as I love them.

Impossible? Probably. I don’t see the Boston male population out there going to frat parties and clubs looking for a future girlfriend. My conversations at gatherings usually don’t stem into the “So are you a virgin?” variety, but that’s the point. I don’t think it should matter if I’m a virgin or not! But apparently it does.

I talked to a few of my male friends from home, from BU and from across the country. The responses were unappealing:

“Um, well, I wouldn’t feel comfortable being her first.”

“If I’m not gonna bang her in a month or so, what’s the point?”

“Your chances of finding a guy who’s also a virgin are like the chances of Pauly Shore winning an Oscar.”

And so I sit here confused and bewildered. So, if I find someone I really like and who really likes me, and we make out a few times, and we’re in that “Oh, it’s spring. Let’s get our hand-holding on” stage, do I have to fear he’s going to say “A virgin?” and leave? Or is he going to get a big head (no pun intended) about thinking there’s a chance he’ll be my first? Geez, and I thought all I had to worry about on dates was whether or not we were going to split the check.

I’m not saying every guy out there is a complete jerk who only wants to use me or is going to think I’m some chastity belt-wearing prude when I wear my black pants and mascara and don’t give him everything he wants at the end of the night. Nor am I saying that every guy out there would even bat an eye if their girlfriend declared she was a virgin. I’m just saying that from my experience these guys are a chosen few.

And now back to the love part. I’m not lonely. Far from it. But I see the way some of you guys look at your significant other and I swoon. I also see how your friends look at you and your significant other and make the appropriate whip-cracking noises, and I laugh. But, I still wouldn’t mind having that kind of dopey feeling every day that wasn’t caused by NyQuil or dining hall food.

I, like every other starry-eyed girl I know, watch movies like “Bridget Jones’s Diary” and “Never Been Kissed” and sigh over meeting that someone who makes your day a little bit brighter by just smiling at you. There’s no doubt in my mind it’s going to happen, but sometimes I just wish it were sooner rather than later. You know, so I can get a piece.