With Spooky World set all the way down at the Bayside Expo Center, we here at the ol’ Free Press couldn’t quite make it to the premium, horror-filled attraction. Instead, we set off down Commonwealth Avenue for a look at the scariest Boston University has to offer.
The trip to Spooky World BU begins with a terrifying drop down a Warren Towers elevator shaft. Students able to pull themselves out of the death carts in the parking garage will have to make their way through a dark alley haunted by John Schulz before jumping into a bumper car on Comm. Ave.
Competing with trolleys, backhoes and drunken drivers, only a few students will emerge unscathed for a snack in the College of Arts and Sciences basement. There the most horrifying attraction looms – not only has the opening of Einstein Bagels been delayed, but a Buswell bake sale is offering up defecation-decorated treats to help fund the replacement of student belongings covered in sewage.
Outside CAS, Marsh Plaza has been made into a life-size Monopoly board. President Robert Brown and the Brookline Police Department threaten to send students to jail — and a coming-out celebration has usurped the traditional Monopoly money colors, and players are bamboozled by rainbow-hued hundreds.
UNI students also have a chance for fun and games — with the corn maze to nowhere!
Still not scared? CGS students looking to get into real colleges will take part in a fight to the death for a chance to earn a coveted spot in a WR 98 class.
Meanwhile, pure terror is instilled in participants of a new version of The Bachelor, hosted by Adil Yunis.
BU is also setting up souvenir shops on Mountfort Street and Bay State Road – all you have to do to get in is jiggle a doorknob.
Inside the dark depths of the BU administration building, visitors can find a fortune-telling booth run by BU Today, which can tell you half-accurately what happened three weeks ago to no one particularly important.
But across the street, a true horror awaits – Free Press zombie staffers at their desks at 4 a.m., ripping off their clothes and un-bolding mastheads.