All right, Daily Free Press. I get where you’re trying to go with this weekly Brian Fudge column you have going on. Really, I do. Someone sat down and thought, “You know what could really improve this paper? A ‘conservative’ columnist who will write pieces to ruffle the feathers of liberals! Fetch me one!” I completely understand this and appreciate the effort, but was Fudge really your best option? These types of columns have the potential to be very well written, with fresh and insightful material that might even actually make a point, as opposed to the “Hey, guys! Conservatives do this sensible thing . . . and liberals are hippies who do this insensible thing!” formula from which Fudge apparently cannot stray for even one week.

Last week’s column (“Recruit more female Republicans or repeal the 19th Amendment?” Oct. 4, p. 8) was even more insufferable than this week’s. Were we supposed to be shocked or offended? The only thing offensive about the article was the fact that Fudge did nothing but recycle the typical “Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus” garbage that Joan Rivers has already used to death. Please, just leave those jokes to die with dignity instead of dragging their corpses across a bed of nails. Not to mention the use of a well-known Family Guy joke within the first paragraph. That’s just low. I cringed. We’re in college — at least 50 percent or more of the student body owns every season on DVD.

Now, two routes of action can be taken. Choice One: You guys scrap this column and save a bunch of paper space for something actually worthwhile, which I doubt will happen because every paper needs the token “offensive conservative.” So, I think we’re going to have to go with Choice Two: Brian Fudge steps it up. A lot. I want to see some improvement in the next few weeks. Stop subscribing to this tired conservatives vs. liberals blueprint you’ve made for yourself and branch out a little. Challenge yourself. There’s a whole world out there. Also, if you’re going to steal jokes from TV shows, you might want to look for some more obscure ones. I know you’re up to it, Mr. Fudge. Good luck.

Diana Damewood

CAS ’08