This week, Stephen Colbert talked to The FreeP about his planned “March to Keep Fear Alive.” So we here at the ol’ Free Press compiled a list of all the rallies that are being thrown on BU’s campus.

• Tim Cahill will be holding “The Rally to Find a New Campaign Staff.” Charlie Baker won’t be invited.

• Derek Zoolander will be sponsoring “The Rally for Kids Who Can’t Read Good,” to be held at CGS.

• Dean Elmore is in the process of planning “The Rally to Let Everyone Know that my First Name isn’t Dean.”

• The Peeping Toms of CAS will be holding their own rally – but we won’t know that it’s going on.

• BU Today is sponsoring an alcohol-fueled rally in order to poll students about their drinking habits.

• Everyone is invited to attend this year’s air sex rally.

• The students of BU will be holding a “Good Riddance to Vinny Saponari” rally.

• The Daily Free Press is throwing “The Rally to Restore Sanity at 3 a.m.” every Sunday through Wednesday night.