Yes, Virginia, there is a war on Christmas! Christmas has been declared politically incorrect and the situation is much worse than you realize.” So claims professional fear-monger and Fox News commentator John Gibson in his 2005 book The War on Christmas.
The bellicose nature of the holiday season has taken center stage in the post-Thanksgiving weeks over the past few years, and it appears that history is set on repeat. I had hoped we would be able to avoid the so-called “liberal war,” but just a few weeks ago, the American Family Association offered the first salvo, attacking PetSmart for not using “Christmas” as part of its holiday promotions — the error was soon corrected. The AFA’s website has also launched an offensive against Kohl’s, Banana Republic and The Gap for their Christmas-bashing agendas.
In the next few weeks, Bill O’Reilly, our favorite BU alumnus, will most likely turn Christmas warrior — a modern-day crusader for the Holy Land of America’s hearts and minds — and point the American right to the nearest exit in stores that offer up a “happy holidays.”
I figure that in this “Thirty Years’ War of Christmas,” the best defense is a good offense, and it would be more effective to start digging in early for a lengthy bit of trench warfare — a preemptive strike, so to speak.
My issue is not so much that some retailers bow to the Christian right and avoid the politically correct “happy holidays” safety net. I believe that private industry should be able to make its own decisions on whatever holiday greeting it prefers — shops and companies will suffer the consequences of Muslim or Jewish boycotts if those groups find “Merry Christmas” a point of offense. No, my issue is that saying “Merry Christmas” has even become an issue. Beyond that, however, I take offense to the Christian right’s use of Bushist tactics: If you’re not with us, you’re against us. In their minds, those who don’t support Christmas outright are trying to destroy Christmas. This is logically false, and belies any potentially valid claims of the “de-Christianizing” of America. Us versus them is no way to win a war.
Of all the societal and cultural casus belli that I can dream up for the ultra-religious folks of the United States, the “Christmas controversy” seems the most trivial. Perhaps a better front could be found in fighting America’s dwindling church attendance, the increased rates of drug abuse and teen pregnancy or the overt commercialization of the Christmas season itself — isn’t it odd that the battleground for this “war” over the birth of Christ is being fought in The Gap and other fine mid-priced clothing retailers?
All these are much worthier, if soporific, causes: They certainly can’t offer the sexy patina or cachet of a Holy Greetings War. But then again, nothing galvanizes the American populace more than a good old-fashioned war about nothing — perhaps we should call this the Seinfeld War?
It is true that America is around 80 percent Christian, and this massive majority is going to have the preponderance to impose its will on those stores that rely on holiday-season cash. But in a society that values “freedom of religion” and pluralistic principles, a majority opinion should not always be correct. In most societies, minority rights must be recognized somewhere and given certain credence — saying “Happy Holidays” is perhaps a correct recognition that not every consumer or citizen is a Christian. But are we getting too much like J.S. Mills (the 19th century philosopher who supported individual liberty) on an argument that really deserves less attention than it gets? In short, are we taking this controversy too far and too seriously? Absolutely.
Conservatives decry a loss of traditional values in the waning of Christmas-related greetings, hence their crusade. Yet it appears that they get convenient amnesia about the true traditional values of Christmas, mostly derived from Germanic pagan rituals — anyone know what a Christmas tree was originally intended to symbolize? They also fail to recognize that Christmas is not about winning a battle over a greeting, but honoring a sacred religious figure. So who has truly lost their traditional values?
I do have to side with them, however, over the holiday-ing of certain non-secular items. While most public entities, schools and government should refrain from outright religious innuendo, it is more than fine to forgo political correctness and call a “Holiday Tree” by its proper nomenclature. I would hate to think our society is so litigious as to rise up in arms over something so innocuous.
I am very concerned, however, about the escalation of this “war” to new and terrifying tactics, Geneva Convention be damned. Soon, the Jewish lobby may retaliate and force Murray’s Deli to wish everyone a “Happy Hanukkah,” which would only result in explosive reactions from the Christian vanguard. In the end, we will have a White Christmas Nuclear Holocaust — the complete destruction of all holiday greetings. Only cockroaches, Twinkies and “Happy Flag Day” would survive.
Yet as the child of a mixed-religion marriage, I am most terrified by the prospect of choosing sides in this ongoing conflict: my own greetings civil war. So forgive me if during this holiday season I take hold of my neutral mug of Swiss Miss hot cocoa and wish you “A good day.”
Neil St. Clair, a senior in the College of Communication and College of Arts and Sciences, is a weekly columnist for The Daily Free Press. He can be reached at [email protected].
