Every Sunday I sit down in front of the television to watch football. I do my best to see every snap. Rarely do I ever have any deep thoughts while watching. Mostly I think about the routes receivers run, blocking and running back styles things that help me learn more about the game.

And then, this weekend, I realized how many players are just slightly older than me. That means they could have conceivably attended high school or college with me. It also means my chance to play in the NFL has probably passed me by, but I realized that when I was a scrawny freshman in high school. Anyway, I did quite a number on myself thinking about the fact that men from my generation are now football heroes to young kids just like guys like Joe Montana and Troy Aikman were to kids like me way back when.

Since we’ll all be preoccupied with the playoff race from here on in, I’d like to take a moment to reflect on the performances of the NFL’s up-and-comers. Presenting the First (and last) Annual ‘Good Lord, a Guy My Age is an NFL Star and I Make $8.10 per Hour’ Awards. These awards honor the league’s most valuable rookies. The winners are those who have made significant contributions to their teams through the season thus far.

Quarterback: David Carr, Houston Texans. I didn’t really want to pick this position, given the fact that few quarterbacks ever make a tremendous impact in their first year, but I kind of had to because quarterback is the most important position on the field. Carr hasn’t exactly been lighting up opposing defenses this year, but he has been consistent in avoiding turnovers, more so than his main competitor for this award, Detroit’s Joey Harrington. Their enthusiasm and natural ability rival each other, but Carr gets the upper hand for better leadership and professionalism.

Running Back: Clinton Portis, Denver Broncos. Portis is five yards away from 1,000 for the season. He’s also further proof (see Ray Lewis) that the University of Miami is the best when it comes to preparing players for the NFL. Wide receiver Rod Smith has been ineffective, at least in terms of scoring, and the rest of the offense has had to deal with injuries and passes thrown by the old-as-dirt Steve Beuerlein. Let’s hope Portis doesn’t fall to the same injury demons that slowed Olandis Gary and Mike Anderson and stopped Terrell Davis altogether. Portis is a big reason why the Broncos are in the thick of the playoff chase.

Wide Receiver: Donte’ Stallworth, New Orleans Saints. Stallworth hasn’t been himself the past few weeks, having suffered a hamstring injury that has seriously slowed him down. Still, Stallworth’s … uh … worth is obvious. The Saints are 4-2 when he scores and 2-2 when he doesn’t (he didn’t play in the other two games). Stallworth is third on the Saints and tied for first among rookie receivers in touchdowns with six and the Saints’ passing game isn’t much if he’s not there to provide an option aside from Joe Horn. Stallworth, Deuce McAllister and Aaron Brooks will make quite a trio when they’re all healthy. An honorable mention goes to Andre’ Davis for teaming with William Green to round out the Cleveland Browns offense. Extra-special shout-out to the apostrophe for making seemingly normal names confusing.

Tight End: Jeremy Shockey, New York Giants. Shockey, another graduate of Miami, doesn’t have as many touchdowns as Miami Dolphins counterpart Randy McMichael, but he doesn’t have the offense the Dolphins have either. With Ike Hilliard out for the year, Shockey has basically become the Giants’ second receiver and has performed well, gaining 563 yards so far. This was the toughest decision to make out of all of the positions on the list, but a couple more Shockey touchdowns would have made this a no-brainer. Next year, Shockey and McMichael go head-to-head. I can’t wait to hear the trash talk.

Defensive Line: Dwight Freeney, Indianapolis Colts. Freeney leads the Colts with eight sacks as the Colts have the second-best defense in the NFL. Coincidence? Nope. The Carolina Panthers’ Julius Peppers has done his best impression of Reggie White in his prime this year, but he gets kicked off my bus because he did it juiced up on ephedrine correction, he got caught juiced up on ephedrine. So, while Peppers sits out the last four games of the season, Freeney will most likely swoop in and snag the Defensive Rookie of the Year Award. Ah, justice.

Defensive Back: Ed Reed, Baltimore Ravens. Reed, the third Miami Hurricane to make the list, is tied for third on the Ravens with 58 tackles and leads the team with four interceptions. He also has two blocked kicks, a sack and a plan to deal with the Ravens’ salary cap woes while remaining competitive. OK, that last part isn’t true, but I wouldn’t be surprised.