There’s a peace that comes with the realization that no one owes us anything — not love, not kindness, not explanations and not opportunities. The only thing we have full control over is how we respond to the world around us.
Whenever I embrace this mindset, my life seems to flow with ease, and everything
feels more manageable.
It is essential to remember that we are responsible for our own emotions and reactions.
We cannot control how someone else feels, how they act or how they perceive us. As frustrating as that might be at times, it is also incredibly freeing.
The moment we let go of expectations, we make space for acceptance, growth and genuine connection.
If we believe that people owe us certain behavior, respect, love or fairness, we set ourselves up for disappointment.
The truth is that people act based on their own needs, emotions and motivations. They don’t always behave in the way we think they should, and that’s not a reflection of our worth — rather, it’s a testament to their personal journey.
Learning to enjoy life in the moment has been one of my biggest challenges.
It’s so easy to get caught up in overanalyzing situations, wondering how things could have gone differently or regretting past choices.
But in reality, all we can do is trust ourselves, follow our instincts and embrace whatever comes our way. There have been so many times where I wished I had listened to my gut, but I can’t change the past. The only thing I can do is learn from it and move forward.
One of the most powerful lessons I’ve learned is that my happiness is my responsibility.
No one is obligated to make me feel valued, safe or loved. These are feelings I have to cultivate within myself.
This realization has been painful at times, but it has also given me strength. When I stop seeking validation from others and start focusing on what makes me feel fulfilled, I regain my power.
Writing about these struggles is therapeutic for me because they’re things I wrestle with. I get hurt often, which has led me to develop a somewhat pessimistic view of people.
I’ve built walls around myself, assuming the worst about others and about how they see me because if I expect the worst, I won’t be disappointed.
While that kind of thinking can be protective, it also isolates and keeps me from fully experiencing life and relationships.
The truth is, we can’t control how people feel about us. We can’t force them to like us, appreciate us or treat us the way we want to be treated.
All we can do is put our best foot forward, and be the most authentic, kind and compassionate versions of ourselves — people can take it or leave it.
This is why I try to have no expectations for the people in my life. I do believe in setting and maintaining strong boundaries, but I no longer expect people to act a certain way or give me what I think I deserve.
This shift in perspective has helped me process things more healthily, especially when someone is being rude, dismissive or distant.
There was a time when every bit of negativity directed at me felt personal. I would internalize it and convince myself that I was the problem or that I wasn’t good or worthy enough.
However, that kind of thinking only leads to self-destruction. When we start attributing other people’s actions to our own worth, we inevitably develop a toxic relationship with ourselves.
This applies to relationships, friendships, careers and life in general. If someone is acting in a way that hurts or confuses me, I try to remind myself that their actions are not a reflection of my value but rather a result of their own motivations, struggles or limitations.
People will do what they want to do, what serves them and what makes sense to them — and most of the time, it has nothing to do with us.
No matter how badly we want something and no matter how much effort we put in, some things simply aren’t meant to be.
While that reality is hard to accept, it’s also a reminder that what is truly meant for us will never pass us by.
This past month has been incredibly difficult for me. I’ve felt the weight of disappointment, losing things I was so sure about and having my excitement and expectations shattered in a moment.
I was looking forward to spending time with someone new, only for it to end abruptly and without closure. The confusion, the unanswered questions and the lingering emotions have all been weighing on me.
And honestly, I’m still stuck in that place. I’m still replaying moments in my mind, wondering what I did wrong, questioning what changed.
But at the end of the day, I can’t change the outcome. All I can do is move forward, let go and trust that better things are ahead.
Ultimately, the right opportunities, people and experiences won’t require me to beg for them. They won’t disappear without reason.
What is truly meant for me will find its way into my life, and that is the mindset I’m holding onto as I take my next steps.
When we accept that no one owes us anything, we stop waiting for the world to be fair.
Instead, we start focusing on what we can control: our actions, our mindset and our boundaries. We begin to appreciate relationships for what they are rather than what we wish they could be. We stop chasing external validation and start building inner peace.
The reality is that life will disappoint us sometimes. People will let us down. Doors will close. But that’s not the end of our story — it’s just a redirection.
And when we let go of expectations and trust the journey, we open ourselves up to something even better than we imagined.
So, let go. Live your life. Trust that what’s meant for you will find you.
And in the meantime, focus on becoming the person who doesn’t need the world to owe them anything — because they’ve already given themselves everything they need.
