I was mindlessly scrolling on my LinkedIn feed when I stumbled upon a former classmate’s job update. Savannah* was explaining — in typical LinkedIn fashion — how excited she was at the opportunity to work for some luxury clothing brand. After all, getting to that point wasn’t easy, and the adversity she overcame to achieve such a milestone was immense. Hard work, online certifications and patience made her dream come true.
Curious to learn more, I clicked on the company she tagged in her post. That’s when I noticed some familiar names — the founder and CEO happened to be her boyfriend’s mother.
It’s not surprising that if you want a job, you’ve got to learn to network. Fifty to 80 percent of all jobs come from personal connections, yet the topic remains taboo. Do we still get to be proud of our accomplishments if we know someone in the company where we were hired? What if that person we know is the founder and CEO?
For clarity’s sake, there’s an important distinction to be made between networking and nepotism. Networking means reaching out to people who can potentially guide you toward your goals. Nepotism means your connection favors you in the hiring decision.
Clinical Psychologist Nancy Irwin explained this distinction in an interview with AOL Finance: “With [networking], you are given an opportunity [or] work. With [nepotism], you create it and build it yourself.”
The distinction is significant. As Irwin said, networking is still work. Reaching out to people for job opportunities is not my ideal version of a weekend, and I’ve been ghosted plenty of times after reaching out to alumni in industries I’m interested in.
However, the mental exhaustion that comes with networking makes securing the job that much more gratifying. You get a greater sense of accomplishment for the work you put in.
“[Networking] is healthier psychologically for all parties concerned,” Irwin said, “because it is built on worth, not a favor.”
Which is to say, nepotism is the easy way in. But, as negatively perceived as nepotism is, its existence is still very real in the modern workplace.
The U.S. Census Bureau reported that by age 30, more than one-fifth of sons will work at the same company as their fathers.
That shockingly high percentage shows that familial connections in the job industry is a topic we don’t talk about enough. The lack of data on nepotism in the United States points to larger transparency and awareness issues. It’s hard to keep track of nepotism’s impact when few are willing to claim they are a product of that process.
So, it’s important to adopt a higher sense of gratitude and understanding for how opportunities in our lives come and go. There’s no shame in getting a job through mutual connections as long as we’re open and honest — with ourselves and each other — about our paths to success.
Savannah was still diligent, succeeded in her classes and received proper qualifications. She is a competitive applicant for any job she applies for, and should feel proud of her accomplishments.
However, she presents a false narrative to those who follow her on LinkedIn. She succeeded, not only because of her talent and diligence, but by her connections — and that is okay. The reality is this: who we know has a huge impact on our careers, and in order to better prepare ourselves to be successful, we have to appreciate what, and who, got us there.
*Name has been changed
