For as long as I can remember, music has been one of my favorite things. For some people, it isn’t really their cup of tea, or it’s just something they have as background noise when doing something else.
For me, however, it has always been something that has consumed me.
Music has been something that I have become so emotionally and physically invested in. I feel the pain that the artists are singing about — the love that they crave, the losses they grieve. However, the most special kind of music to me is the kind where I feel all of these things — where I go through and experience all of these emotions and events.
This song for me is “Shake it Off” by Florence + The Machine.
I first heard this song during an episode of one of my favorite television shows, “How I Met Your Mother.” This song played after two of the main characters broke up. The sound played in the background of a montage that flashed through the entirety of their relationship. I was obsessed with this show, this television relationship and now this song.
This was immediately added to and played on repeat in my “sad playlist.” I listened to this song every time I needed to get a good cry out.
Something I quickly noticed was that sadness was not the only emotion I was experiencing while listening to this song. Interestingly enough, I experienced happiness, relief, acceptance and hope as well.
During the mellow and slow introduction of the song, I sit in silence. I feel numb, solely focused on feeling sad with an empty and helpless mind.
As the song continues, I begin to feel a sink in my stomach, almost as if I am being pulled into the song. I feel as though I am exhaling — bringing down all my emotions and negative memories along with my breath.
I am slowly being pulled, my thoughts unleashed, and every sad thought I’ve been holding in comes out. I feel helpless during this stage, as if nothing in the world could make these feelings or thoughts go away.
This stage can be very overwhelming because it is often the first time that I am confronting most of these emotions. The majority of my emotions during this time are in regard to the ending of something. In other words, being sad about something in my life being over. Therefore, this stage is very emotional as I reflect on all the things that have changed in my life.
As the song goes on and the chorus approaches, the lyrics “Shake it Out” repeat. “Shake it out. Shake it out. Shake it out, shake it out,” over and over again.
This line is so simple yet so powerful.
This line triggers the most significant outcome: acceptance. I accept that what I once had is now over, or I have learned to let go of my sadness.
I reflect on friendships that have drifted, family dynamics that have been altered and everything that has changed over the course of my life. I reflect on all these thoughts and memories, acknowledging how they have impacted me while also accepting change and learning to move on.
During this time, I feel relieved. I feel the heavy weight lifted off my chest, and I feel the inhale of my breath. My sadness does not just disappear, it is weighted out — it becomes bittersweet.
I often resort to Pinterest to look for motivational quotes to keep me going. One that I often look at is, “holding on can be harder than letting go.” I never really understood this saying or how it could be true. How could holding onto something — something that you truly love — possibly be harder than letting it go and forever losing it? This song allowed me to understand its true meaning. To feel the relief of letting go and moving on.
When hearing the lyrics “Shake it Out,” I let go. I shake out everything that I’ve been holding onto and repressing. I decided to not let these things hold me back anymore, and I wipe off my tears and move forward in a new and positive direction.
This song takes me through a journey, one in which I face my hardships and learn to let go of them. I realize that I do not need to make things harder for myself by holding on.
I find the beauty in letting go — it doesn’t mean forgetting, but accepting that it is no longer in my life. It was good for when it was, but no longer exists.
I deal with various emotions during this time, but I always end the song with a different perspective than how I started.
