Most of BU isn’t used to college sporting events when day drinking is called ‘Saturdays in the fall.’ If you’re not from Wisconsin or haven’t been to a Boston College football game, chances are your partying has been limited to clubs, bars, friends of friend’s houses, frat parties and the like. Day drinking is a sport in itself, fully equipped with its own set of rules, except in this game, if they’re not followed the refs don’t come in and slap you on the wrist ‘-‘- instead, the Boston Police Department will slap on the cuffs.
Strike: Freshman, smuggle something into your dining hall of choice and enjoy a mimosa, or a cran-vod if you will, before getting loose in South Campus . . . do not neglect breakfast simply because your dorm room doesn’t have a kitchen. Empty-stomach induced vomiting is unacceptable, and ladies, don’t think you’ll bag one of those dreamy NCAA champion hockey players with a serious case of the flops. Make sure for every four beers you ingest a hot dog as well, because in this game, never mind three strikes and you’re out ‘-‘- one will do.
Off-sides: Typical day drinking at college sporting events normally would entail some biddy cheering for the wrong team, i.e. celebrating during a bad call. The remedy, typically, is to either A.) know your sport, or B.) shut up. But during Marathon Monday, this rule doesn’t apply. Incase you weren’t aware, there are no teams. (OK, yes there are, it’s the Kenyans versus everyone else, but the idea that a Kenyan would not win the race is so far fetched people don’t even attempt to create rivalry.) Instead, your sole mission in staying ‘on-sides’ is to not disrupt the flow of the race. This means do not distract the runners to the point of breaking their stride, do not run with the runners, do not cross the race during high volume and most importantly, never hand runners anything but water or Gatorade (believe it or not, a beer is only enjoyable under the right circumstances).
Penalty: The point of day drinking is to wash away your inhibitions beyond belief so that you’re in the right state of mind to be all sorts of obnoxious ‘-‘- to sober people that is. Jumping, cheering and screaming until your lungs let out are all encouraged, but getting so shwastey that your own friends, fellow chugging classmates and neighbors are thoroughly annoyed by you is not. Instead, pace yourself. Draw tallies on your forearm; limit yourself to one game of ‘ruit per hour and freshman, don’t drink anything and everything in site. On Marathon Monday, Beacon Street becomes extremely generous and resembles something more like a free-flowing, endless keg than Prohibition. Get rid of your ‘I am underage and this is the drought’ mentality. This is an all-day event and there is plenty of jungle juice to go around. If you find your party is running low, hop on over to the next, hand someone a Lincoln and grab yourself a red cup.
Foul: Don’t spill your drink, especially on another person. Pretty simple, right? Wrong. The party foul is hard to live down and even harder to avoid ‘-‘- especially on Marathon Monday. Basically, don’t run, jump, or do anything other than stand with a drink in hand. Marathon Monday is notorious for spillers, and while the pavement won’t mind, your BFF’s Longchamp bag or your neighbor’s Nike’s certainly will.
Other no-no’s include but are not limited to: complaining you’re ‘done,’ too drunk or full, faking sips or sipping shots, writing your number on a sign, substituting tanning products for sun block (this is a sporting event, not a beach, and you do realize you smell like burnt baby, right?) making it just halfway through the day, joining the race, inebriated-grilling and subsequently starting a fire, tripping a runner with your passed-out body, tripping a runner in general, falling asleep behind your sunglasses and not making it to the after party wherever that may be (The MUSE recommends Sunset Cantina for nachos ‘-‘- full orders only ‘-‘- or 973, formerly known as T’s, for an impromptu karaoke sesh).
And while there are plenty of things not to do, don’t get overwhelmed, just focus on the must-do’s. Consider partaking in a warm up, even if you don’t plan on getting physical (or maybe you do?); power hours are encouraged before taking to the streets (The MUSE recommends putting on a Britney record, any Britney record, and hitting the bottle each time she says the word ‘baby’ to get you sufficiently prepared for the day’s events). Designated grillers are also encouraged, as well as open house parties, sharing sunblock, countless high-fives, non-stop cheering and sporting Boston-emblazoned attire (think championship T’s, ‘agrave; la Red Sox, Celtics, Boston University . . . leave your Eagles gear back in Newton where it belongs).
But most importantly: do not let anything stop you from celebrating and having fun. If a time-out is necessary (for drunk dials/sexting, dramz, a random trip to the ER for your incompetent roommate ‘-‘- been there, done that) keep in mind it’s just a quick break, and get back in the game. Make sure you and your party follow these rules that way everyone is guaranteed to have a good time. Happy Monday! And don’t skip class on Tuesday.
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