Tickle-Me-Elmo and Furbies: Holiday buying used to be so easy. But as we mature and become “individuals,” Santa has a harder time picking out the perfect gifts for very different personalities. We’re sure a few people on Comm. Ave. have yet to send out a wishlist, so here’s a little personalized help deciding what to ask for from the Big Guy (no matter what you ask for, leaving out milk and cookies is never a bad plan).
Hey! You with your pants cutting off your circulation! Think you’re too cool and indie for the holidays? Think again. Santa has plenty of obscure gifts in his sack to nurture you and your individuality. After all, do you think the elves make those tights they wear all year themselves? No — they buy them at American Apparel. On the off chance that you’ve been behaving yourself, consider putting some of this stuff on your list.
From the Lomography Fisheye to the Holga, Urban Outfitters is offering an array of artsy cameras this holiday season. Think of how unique your Facebook albums will be now: You can catch your friends looking moody (with a Djarum in hand, no less) through the view of a fish!
What better gift than a hefty iTunes gift card to make it through the season of on-repeat-everywhere Mariah Carey? Get a card and use it to buy quirky Christmas classics from the likes of The Flaming Lips and Sufjan Stevens. An added bonus: You won’t get a lump of coal from the Recording Industry Association of America in your stocking.
Lastly, let’s not forget your mother’s favorite: footwear. Clunky North Face boots are clearly a no-no for the hipster, but with the harsh Boston winter, you’re going to need some new kicks. Luckily, Karma Loop ships worldwide! The high-top Dunks will give you a few extra inches of warmth on those ankles. Hey, they’re just as good as Dad’s snow boots from L.L. Bean . . . right?
It’s been a long semester of strutting down “The Runway” in the GSU, and you can only wear those Tory Birch flats so many times until people are bound notice. Well, the holidays are here, which means it’s time to take full advantage of Santa’s couture instincts. (You don’t think he got that fur-trimmed suit at H’M, did you?) Start by throwing out those overdone flats and tracking down some pumps. It might be cold and icy when we return in January, but a girl’s got to suffer for fashion. If you’re feeling adventurous and really want to turn heads, go for the denim platform-pump by YSL, available at Neiman’s. And at those cocktail parties next semester, your peers will endure fashion faux pas in duplicate BCBG dresses, but if you work it right with Santa, you obviously will have nothing to worry about. Direct him to ShopBop.com where you can pick up a flapper-inspired, beaded dress from Alice + Olivia.
Top off your look with a classic gold David Yurman necklace (because Tiffany’s just isn’t good enough) and a Marc Jacobs handbag (if you don’t mind sales, eLuxury.com has a nice discounted selection). Also, let’s not shun the male fashion mavens at BU. We’ve all seen you sporting the man-Uggs and Sevens, but why not go for something different? Check out Frankeys.com for a decent selection of John Varvatos shoes and boots and Acne brand denim. If you really want to be fashion-forward, ask Santa to stuff your stocking with a necklace by Alex and Chloe (alexandchloe.com). The timeless appeal of a cuban link necklace will suit your style.
Sweetheart, it’s minus-five degrees outside. Maybe you’re allergic to denim and corduroy and everything that’s not pure spandex. Perhaps you just like having one less layer to strip off. Whatever the reason, ’tis the season for a frozen tush. Now for the bad news: Santa’s workshop – Jasmine Sola – is closed. So where can Santa take you to shop ’til you drop? Intermix? No, darling, you’re not a fashionista. American Eagle? So high school. Wherever can you get something to match your Sigma Sigma Sigma garb? Not to fret — Santa’s going to pimp you out like Malibu barbie. There will no doubt be a bevy of mixers to attend next semester, and what is the likelihood that you’ll actually end up back at your own place? Santa supports poor life decisions, so a new Longchamp bag is something he and the elves can carry down the chimney for you. Maybe he’ll even throw in a Vera Bradley wristlet with some cash for a cab.
So what else will be in your stocking this year? An unlimited tanning pass to Darque Tan so you can fake-bake at three in the morning.
Another pair of Uggs because those camel-colored ones aren’t cutting it anymore. Sweaters? No, you like to be cold. Some new perfume? No, you wouldn’t want to overdo it. Oh, wait.
Well, if all else fails, the Big Man will bring you a thermometer or maybe a tolerance for pants.
During his daily fly-overs of the School of Management, Santa has scoped you out and knows you definitely don’t need any more Marlboros, another pair of Gucci sunglasses or a new Burberry scarf. Fortunately, he’s stocked his sleigh with plenty of goodies that will come of use next year at Mantra on Friday nights. Santa will prepare you for copious amounts of clubbing with a copy of The Ministry of Sound’s Annual 2008. Of course you like to pretend to keep it classy, so it’s Armani all the way. A classic suit will take you from the Jersey Shore to your team meetings in no time. And your outfit could never be complete without a Mr. T version of the Italian horn. Santa likes his silver and gold too, so no worries.
Mr. Single Suburban White Boy, all that collar popping and skirt chasing has landed you on the naughty list. Luckily, Santa’s a forgiving man. To get back in his graces, why don’t you let him take some risks with your wardrobe? The button-up. A crewneck sweater (gasp). A T-shirt (no, that one from the DMB concert doesn’t count). And speaking of your anthem, turn off “Ants Marching” — the elves want to whisk you away to the land where the palm trees sway. The land of no shoes, no shirts and a Renee Zellweger divorcee. Move over, O.A.R: It’s time for some Kenny Chesney. Santa has plenty of last season’s cowboy hats left over to stock you up for your next theme party — “Cowboy bros and Nashville hos,” anyone? After you expand your mind with a cultural theme party, chase that Natty night with some pizza. But we bet the Big Man will cut you a break and help you save those convenience points with a Domino’s gift card. Just make sure you’re coherent enough to order the deep dish; thin crust would be a major blow to your dignity.
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