Self-love. What a concept.
Self-love is a goal I have been working towards for a very long time, and I am finally on the right path to reaching that love for myself.
I spent most of my youth being made fun of for being “too skinny.” People in middle school would make comments about me needing to eat more and that I looked anorexic. In reality, I was just born like a spaghetti noodle. To be honest, those comments really got to me, and I felt like I wasn’t beautiful just the way I was.
In high school, I signed with a modeling agency that applauded me for my slender physique. That gave me a little boost of confidence because I finally started feeling like my lanky self was fine just the way I was. This boost of confidence lasted throughout high school, helping me learn to love myself a little.
Then, I turned 18 and started to fill out. My modeling agency told me I needed to be careful with my weight. It has been a constant battle of people telling me that I am too skinny or too big. It felt like a lose-lose situation for me: How can someone learn to love their body if people are constantly critiquing what they look like?
I came to Boston University — after taking my gap year to travel and work full time — and embarked on my journey as a normal college student. I absolutely love being here. Every second of it. Yes, there are always difficult parts, but the happy moments stay prominent in my head. I’ve finally learned that I am beautiful just the way I am.
For the first time in my life, I don’t have agents or anyone else telling me what I should look like. I am finally working out because I love it and trying the many coffee shops and restaurants Boston has to offer.
Self-love isn’t something that comes overnight or something you can wish for and will happen. Self-love is something you reach once you feel happy within yourself. Once you love yourself wholeheartedly, you can love others with all your heart and be loved fully.
My goal is to wake every morning and immediately feel grateful to be me and be exactly who I am. I don’t want to have random bursts of confidence and love for myself. I want this love to be a constant feeling that lasts forever.
This is the first time in a long time that I have been waking up loving myself as I am. I don’t know if it’s my being in Boston and doing things I enjoy, my roommates’ positive energy or just me finally being ready to do so — maybe it’s a combination of everything.
Here are some things that have helped me on this journey of self-love:
- Going on walks along the Esplanade
- Journaling outside
- Listening to music
- Working out with friends
- FaceTiming my family and friends
- A salt and sunset lamp
- Surrounding yourself with supportive friends
- Doing things for yourself because you want to
- Prioritizing your mental health and happiness
This is a list of a couple of things that can hopefully help you too. I know everyone is different and everyone moves at a different pace, but my hope is for everyone to wake up loving themselves every day. Coming to Boston University has given me the chance to do things I love and start to love myself. Remember everyone: loving yourself is the most important thing because you — and only you — are always going to be with yourself. Love you and love all.