n For nearly the entire semester, I have stood aside, saying nothing as Kiel Servideo fills the pages of my beloved Free Press with his inept, inane articles, spewing a mix of lies and ignorance that is downright shameful to see in print. I can do so no more.

His latest column, (“No matter what age, registering for class never gets easier,” Nov. 13, p. 5) has simply crossed the line of decency and deserves to be responded to.

Where, over, is a person to begin? Let’s try the most glaring example of Servideo’s pitiful prose: “If you’re a racist, southern hillbilly that still drives around with a Confederate flag sticker on your rear windshield, a Civil War history class may be right for you.” As a Tennessean, I was shocked to see such a thing in print. Apparently, Servideo is unaware that it is nearly impossible to apply any sort of sticker at all to the duct-taped Walmart shopping bags that serve as windshields in my great home state. Furthermore, for him to even deign the topic of the so-called “Civil” War with the moniker history is an effrontery to the greatness of the South; it is no more accurate than other fictitious “history” like the moon landing or the American loss at the Alamo.

But Servideo is not content to stop there. He later states that since Jesus did not shower, nor should his followers. Servideo, sir, the question goes “What would Jesus do?” not “What did Jesus do?” Had he only the chance, I am fully confident that our Lord and Savior would happily have not only have showered, but also watched re-runs of Bonanza and listened to banjo-twanging tunes.

But the final offense comes last: In his column, Servideo goes so far as to accuse women of being useful only for compliments and as a resting place. That this man is such a blatant sexist is heinous; it is a well-known fact that women possess at least two other major qualities (Their ability to prepare warm food and readiness to be viewed as sexual objects), qualities that Servideo is apparently too blind to acknowledge.

It gladdens my heart to know that soon enough, this sort of offensive claptrap will be gone from your paper forever, Free Press. Until then, I shall have to return to my greatest pleasures from home: Stalking the streets barefoot, ever in search of a pile of hay to take a roll in.

Randy Pinion

COM ’09