The New York Yankees announced the signing of Jesus Christ, a 2,000-year-old shortstop, today at Yankee Stadium.

Christ, who signed for the cost of world peace, has announced that he has no problems moving to second base, and isn’t looking to replace Yankee captain Derek Jeter. He is projected to bat in the ninth spot of the lineup.

Seriously, Red Sox Nation, we need to calm down.

Yes, the Yankees acquisition of Alex Rodriguez is huge. He’s the best player in baseball, he’s in his prime and he’s got many good years of baseball in him.

I’m still not worried.

It’s funny, I heard people saying that the reason A-Rod is in New York is because the Sox ownership screwed up. Please.

A-Rod is in New York because New York can afford him for less of a price than the Sox could – it’s that simple. Soriano is young and still relatively cheap, and Rangers owner Tom Hicks is making out like a bandit on this one. But so are the Yankees. This is a deal that they, and only they could make. Only the Yankees have enough money to be able to afford Rodriguez, all while blatantly disregarding the luxury tax.

But can we please stop all the posturing about the Yankees being horrible for baseball? How is it really any different than Bud Selig trying to get A-Rod here? The reality of baseball is that the team with the most money is the team with the most flexibility to improve on paper. The Yankees have the most money – it’s not exactly cheating. More like capitalism at its finest.

The key thing is that this deal is still on paper. There hasn’t been a single exhibition game – let alone regular season game – and people in Boston are already giving up, conceding to the Yankees.

But the Yankees don’t have a pitching staff with Pedro Martinez, Curt Schilling, Derek Lowe and Tim Wakefield. The Yankees don’t have Mike Timlin, Scott Williamson, Alan Embree and Keith Foulke in the bullpen (although Rivera, if he still can throw by the end of the year, is a pretty good guy in the ninth). The Yankees don’t have a clubhouse anchored by David Ortiz, Kevin Millar and Jason Varitek. Varitek may be as good of a player/leader as any in baseball, while Ortiz and Millar brought joy not only to the team but to the fans last year.

There’s a lot to like about this Red Sox team. Everyone save Todd Walker who contributed to last year’s record-breaking offensive season is back. The pitching is improved, and Grady Little is not the manager.

I can’t stress to you how big that is. Yeah, the Yankees had a great comeback, but everyone knows that if Little pulls Petey for Timlin, the Sox are going on to face Florida. The only people who say differently are last year’s players. And that makes me like those guys that much more. There’s no way everyone on that team believes that, but they were not going to leave Grady hanging out to dry. That’s character. That counts.

Last year’s team featured a few stars and a bunch of castoffs. Millar and Ortiz basically came out of nowhere. Add Billy Mueller to that list. I knew Tim Wakefield was good, but I didn’t think he was good enough to be, by far, the best pitcher in the ALCS.

So this team, with A-Rod or without, can play. More importantly, this team feels like our own, something I lost sight of during the great chase for Rodriguez. Yeah, some of it may be sour grapes, but some Yankee fans’ more rational perspectives have helped me realize just how much I respected and admired last year’s team, and how excited I am that that team is basically all back.

Pitchers and catchers are making their way down to Florida, and I’m real happy to be a Sox fan – A-Rod be damned.

JUST BECAUSE I CAN

I’ve stopped getting upset when the hockey team loses. I just wanna see them play hard and see good hockey. Well, I got the effort last week. I’ve just never seen a more confused, demoralized group. At this point, when a crappy team (and make no bones about it, Merrimack and Providence are crappy teams) scores on the Terriers, I can see their aces and body language change – the “I can’t believe this is happening again” look is tangible … Reason No. 134 I love Minnesota hockey: University of Minnesota beer couzies … After watching BU comfortably beat Vermont, and then finding out Taylor Coppenrath is out for the season, you’ve got to like the chances of BU heading to the NCAAs. This team has the toughness it’s gonna take … Here’s a dilemma: I never ever draft Yankees in fantasy baseball, I just hate them too much. What do I do if I get the number one pick this year? I can’t take A-Rod, right? But how do I say I’m not picking him and then pick Bonds or Pujols? Isn’t that basically illegal? For the first time ever, I’m desperately hoping I don’t win that coin flip … I believe in the Bruins. I believe that the Celtics still exist, although there’s little proof.