This is for all of you who, like me, once believed that life could be perfectly organized into to-do lists and five-year plans. For those who felt peace in knowing exactly where you were headed, only to devolve into a quiet panic when things didn’t go according to your agenda. This is for the ones who were so invested in building a future to be proud of that you sometimes forgot to fully enjoy the present. 

Rory Gilmore, from “Gilmore Girls,” is the archetype of the “gifted kid.” She’s smart, hardworking and attends prep school before graduating from Yale. When we first meet her, she dreams of becoming a journalist like Christiane Amanpour.

Early Rory is a role model for so many of us. She’s on our Pinterest boards and our vision boards — I even had her famous quote, “Who cares if I’m pretty if I fail my finals?” pinned on my wall. 

I was in second grade when I decided I wanted to move out of India for college. Most of middle school and high school was a mosaic of grades, music practice, competitions and extracurriculars — a mosaic that, in hindsight, feels blurrier than I would’ve liked. 

I didn’t go to a school that sent many students abroad, so I had to juggle all the extra work I needed to do to achieve this goal while my peers seemed to be having fun.

I don’t regret the work I put in. In fact, I’m grateful for everything that got me where I am. But looking back, I can’t remember a time when I wasn’t thinking about what came next. I can’t remember doing something without it somehow connecting to my “future plans.”

Have you ever wondered why we put ourselves through all this stress? I mean, we tell ourselves it’s all about putting in the hard work now so we can enjoy the rewards later. But honestly, it’s kind of a never-ending cycle, right?

In high school, we’re all about getting into college. Then in college, it’s about landing a job. And once we get that job, what’s next? Retirement? It makes you think — when does it all pause? Do we ever just stop to enjoy the ride?

Sometimes, stopping to smell the roses might feel like you’re doing something wrong. And taking a day off to relax might feel like you’re betraying yourself.  

Since when did productivity become a currency we’re expected to pay with? Why should I feel guilty for wanting to take a long nap in the afternoon, or for choosing to watch a movie instead of checking off another item on my to-do list? 

This mindset of measuring self-worth by how much progress we make can be both tiring and relentless. Rory’s character arc over the course of the show explains this perfectly. When a Media Giant tells her that she doesn’t have what it takes to become a journalist, it takes her months to find her footing again. This is a story that resonates with many of us who grew up driven by achievement, because even minor setbacks can feel catastrophic if we haven’t learned how to bounce back.

Every time I faced a setback, like getting rejected from a job or not earning the grade I expected, I would retreat into bed for a day, overwhelmed by disappointment. Coming to college, the pressure only mounted. Between internships, clubs, networking and maintaining a strong GPA, there’s barely room to breathe.

But over time, I’ve started to realize that in trying to do everything perfectly for the future, we often miss out on the present. Living in the now doesn’t have to be anything grand. Little things like watching a sunset, taking a walk down Commonwealth Avenue, feeling the snow on your face or catching up with friends can make all the difference. One of my professors said something that stuck with me: “Life is very long, you might not end up where you planned to in the first place.” 

Circumstances shift faster than spring changes into summer. How can we expect our plans to remain the same when their environment is constantly changing? All we can believe in is that if something is meant for you, you’ll find it. That’s the lens that I’ve started using to look at life. It helps me take setbacks less seriously and allows me to focus more on the present. 

Rory Gilmore reminds us that ambition is a gift. But when it becomes our only lens, the little things that life has to offer can go unnoticed.