I used to work for a children’s birthday party place. I would attend at least five parties every weekend, so I got used to the routine: greetings, coloring, games, crafts, dance parties and cake.
Even though the kids were different every time and the activities varied, there was always a set structure I could rely on. It became a predictable routine, which allowed me to feel increasingly comfortable with my responsibilities. I can now dance to Katy Perry like nobody’s business.
But one day, things changed. Instead of my usual birthday party scene, I was volunteering at a charity event with my coworkers. I had never attended before, so I didn’t know how to prepare. I was told to wear a nice, yet comfortable outfit, which I interpreted to be a little too casual.
At work that day, my manager told me she was going to change into a dress for the event and then asked what I planned on wearing. But the thing is, I was dressed in a cardigan and black pants and had no intention of changing. It would have been so easy to say so.
I could have apologized for being too casual, or said that I was confused by the attire. But I didn’t. I said I would change into a nice top.
But there was a problem. There was no time to go home, and I had no “nice top.” So I did what any normal person would do. As we both left for the event, I stopped at the only open clothing store nearby and grabbed the first nice-ish-looking top I saw.
It was expensive — which I didn’t know until I checked out — but I bought it anyway, rushed out of there and left the tags on.
“I can return it later, right? This is completely rational,” I thought.
My normal birthday party routine — same outfit, same pace, same songs — had locked me into a path of predictability. And when a new situation was thrown at me, I didn’t know how to handle it, so I panicked and bought a shirt I couldn’t afford, in an attempt to right my “wrong” outfit choice.
We tend to get scared when things fall out of place or are different than usual. We might really want to try out a new club but never go to the meetings, fearing embarrassment or unanticipated challenges.
As much as we claim to crave change, we hate what’s new. We have been locked into the same routine for so long, so we get nostalgic or scared when we leave it. That’s why it’s so hard to start a new job, or change schools or leave home for the first time. Breaking routines is stressful.
Don’t get me wrong: routines are great. They provide a sense of balance and predictability to an otherwise unpredictable life. They make it easier to know what class we have to go to and when to make appointments and have a schedule that propels us through the day.
We brush our teeth and wash our face in a certain order, go to specific classes and attend predetermined meetings. However, we don’t notice how dependent we are on these patterns of daily life until we break the routine.
After being away from our usual schedules for long periods of time, we feel off-balance, confused, even uncomfortable. Life becomes uneven and uncertain. We are less productive. We have fewer goals. We crave the comfort of our usual repetition, even if we complain about the mundaneness in the moment. Routines bind our days together.
I’m not arguing we should get rid of our routines and approach every day with a blind eye. That would cause unnecessary stress and chaos and stifle efficiency. But when we become so reliant on the predictable schedules, we are scared to change and panic when an unexpected challenge interrupts us.
Routines are meant to provide a helpful path and create balance, not prevent us from growing beyond them. Beneficial risk-taking by doing small actions outside our comfort zone can increase our confidence, make us stronger and help us become more well-rounded people.
I tried to return the blouse I bought, but the store would only accept store credit. Not exactly what I was looking for, but definitely an appropriate ending to a story where I spent unnecessary money on an outfit that no one probably cared if I had or not.
Embrace those breaks in routine. That’s when it gets interesting.
