Staffers here at the ol’ Free Press this week tracked down the man who swindled $2,000 from an unwitting Boston University student.

The man, Darren Baines Cooper, explained the motives for his plan. Also, amidst snickers, he described how he brought his devilishly simple plot to fruition.

“Well, I didn’t expect it to be that easy. At first, I figured the kid wouldn’t be taken so easily, what with the college education and all. I mean, what college student doesn’t know how checks work?

“When the contents of the kid’s fish taco dribbled down his shirt and he didn’t bat an eyelash, I figured I had a pigeon,” he said. “Bingo. I bilked him with Prussian efficiency.”

Cooper said he saw the student on the street just yesterday.

“He said, ‘I’m going to kick your derriere.’ Then he got all slap-happy, waving his arms around like a 13-year-old girl in a catfight. I dropped him with one punch,” Cooper said before laughing for five minutes.

Cooper said the best part about the scam was telling his wife and kids about it each night over dinner. Several times, Cooper’s wife had to excuse herself from dinner to avoid spitting peas on the table.

“The kids loved it, too,” Cooper said. “They kept telling me I should try to get a job on Candid Camera. I’m not so sure, though. The money’s not as good.”

Cooper said his conscience stepped in after the plot had been carried out.

“I felt kind of guilty. I mean, I kind of wanted to take him to a finance seminar or something, maybe one of those crime prevention things,” Cooper said. “Instead I just decided to give the money I stole to charity — some fat camp in the Berkshires.”