There’s nothing like growing up and sharing a bedroom.
Ours was lined with a SpongeBob SquarePants border, a bunk bed on one end of the room and a twin bed in the corner. When we were really young, my siblings and I would stay up at night role playing as restaurant or store customers and workers in our respective beds — before mom came in to yell at us, of course.
I grew up as a triplet. Well, I’m still a triplet.
No, we’re not identical or psychic, we just happen to share the same birthday. I’m the middle triplet, too, but that never meant much considering we came into the world over the span of three minutes.
Contrary to popular belief, growing up as a triplet doesn’t mean sharing everything.
After a certain age, our interests began to diverge. We each developed different interests, hobbies and even music tastes. To this day, my brothers complain when I’m on the aux, just as I complain when they are. I’m not sure how they aren’t addicted to Lucki or Brent Faiyaz yet, but I’ve tried my hardest to put them on.
Even our clothing choices reflect our unique personalities, which made hand-me-downs difficult in our family. After all these years, their obsession with Under Armour and their limited hat collections are puzzling to me.
My brothers grew up interested in things like technology and video games while I grew up primarily watching and playing sports. You’d think that having brothers would mean having a built-in throwing partner or teammate, but it was actually the opposite.
I’d often have to settle for my dad when it came to throwing around the football or practicing my jumpshot. And no disrespect to his skills — especially since he is likely to read this — but he’s never been much competition.
The dynamic was complicated further by our older brother, a current medical student at the University at Buffalo. With a four-year age gap, it was always “the triplets” and him. He was my example of individuality — one birthday, one school and one identity that wasn’t shared.
In spite of our differences, we’ve always had one thing in common: education. Academic values were instilled in us from an early age, from my oldest brother down to us. This quickly became a competition, with each of us trying to outdo the others.
The classroom was one of the only spaces we shared. We occupied the same AP and honors classes, comparing exam scores and semester averages, before moving on to our respective friend groups and extracurriculars.
Then we all went to college. For the first time, we weren’t “the triplets” anymore. We were just three separate people, figuring out who we were without the constant mirror of one another.
Naturally, we all chose different majors at different schools. I pursued psychology and English at Lehigh University before transferring to Boston University. Meanwhile, one of my triplets chose Rochester Institute of Technology for computer science, and the other Hudson Valley Community College for mechanical engineering technology.
It was weird to go to college as an individual. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve always been my own person, but I’ve also always been associated with two others.
Outside of it being a fun fact for orientation or the first week of classes, most people don’t know I’m a triplet. They don’t know that I’m often referred to as one of the triplets, rather than just as “Jonah.”
It’s weird being boxed into an identity at birth, and even weirder to be defined by something and not defined by it at the same time. Being a triplet is a part of me, and I’m grateful for it, but it doesn’t represent everything I am.
We are not identical images, and our paths are not the same. Growing up labeled as a triplet while being fundamentally different was a difficult situation. I strive to define myself as an individual while opposing the expectations placed on me by this label.
I’ve found that our differences also highlight the assumptions society makes about multiples. People expect triplets to be so similar — sharing interests, hobbies and goals — but our experience defies that notion.
For my brothers and me, our separate journeys are not a loss of connection. Instead, they are a sign of evolution, an inevitable stage for three individuals born together. We may not share the same music taste or hobbies, but we share a common starting point, and very few people can relate to that.
As we progress through college and beyond, I’m excited to see how our stories continue to play out.
Although our lives started side by side, we’re on our own journeys now.
