For the last edition of this column, I wrote about predicted fashion trends for this season and how to stay in style using vintage pieces. During my writing and research process for that article, I began to reflect on my own relationship with trends.
For someone who always tries to stay up to date with the “who, what, where” of the fashion world, I was pretty embarrassed to realize I have no idea what’s supposedly trending.
My humiliation quickly turned to a sense of pride when I recognized I don’t need to know what is trending — although it’s something I used to be hung up on.
When I got to college three years ago, I felt it was time for a wardrobe overhaul. The problem was that I had no inspiration other than what was currently trendy.
You see, fashion has always been my therapy. While I am now a big proponent of actual psychotherapy with a clinical therapist, clothing was my comforter when I didn’t feel quite ready to open up. Before I had words, I had fabric and silhouettes.
In the sixth grade, when my grandmother passed away, I was distraught. Her rather sudden loss left my whole family shaken. Not only was it upsetting to see my heroes so flattened — but her loss brought the deeper anxieties about mortality that I had dealt with since kindergarten to the surface.
Visiting my grandma’s home after she passed presented a unique opportunity for me to connect with her: her closet.
Over the next few months, I began to experiment with the pieces I got to keep from her closet. While I cringe at some of the looks I styled — because I was a seventh grader wearing business casual — I find comfort in knowing this exploration helped me come to terms with my grief and develop my self-expression.
Throughout the rest of middle and high school, I continued to experiment with my style. If I felt stuck with any negative feelings or a general sense of “I’m not okay,” I used that as a springboard into my next fashion experiment — that is, until senior year of high school.
Senior year of high school was a breakthrough period for me and my mental health. I spent every day with my best friends, was accepted into my dream colleges and excelled in my extracurriculars. Besides the normal worries about moving away to college, I truly felt like I was living in a movie.
However, unlike a character in a movie, I didn’t have a wardrobe team dressing me every day.
Without angst to express, my fashion fell by the wayside. That’s not to say I didn’t dress well — because I most certainly did — but my outfits lacked personality.
When I got to college, my bland style didn’t bother me. In fact, I strove to make it even more bland. All I wanted to do was blend in.
I think this desire is a common one many college freshmen have, but it’s rather backwards. Frankly, it’s a very high school mindset to assume being “cool” means you have to conform.
College is always touted as a time to explore the world and learn who you are — that should include your wardrobe.
For the first time, you have the freedom to choose what you want to wear. You are in a brand-new place with brand-new people and at least some financial freedom. Why waste that opportunity on chasing trends you don’t actually like just to feel part of something?
I didn’t quite recognize this until I began to find my place in college. Once I finally found my true friends and settled into the rigor of college, fashion was no longer therapy for hard emotions. For the first time, my style was a celebration of all the joy I felt and wanted to continue to feel.
Yes, I was always a vintage fashion nerd, but I was previously too scared to dress like it for fear of standing out. Once I decided to give dressing for joy a try, I invited even more joy into my life — new connections, opportunities and a wider world of clothing pieces to choose from.
Exploring my personal style opened doors for me that would not have been possible had I continued to dress like the crowd. It inspired me to open my own business and even begin the very column that you are reading.
I know vintage fashion isn’t for everyone, and it doesn’t have to be — but your style has to be your own.
Clothing is one of the many non-verbal cues we project to the world every day to tell everyone who we are. That fact alone can be scary, particularly for new college students.
Many new college students don’t know who they are, and that’s okay. Don’t be afraid to wear confusion on your sleeve — quite literally in this case.
So, wear that wacky hat you found at Garment District to class. Try layering that sweater and blouse you don’t think will look good together, but maybe they might. Try it all while you have the opportunity to do so.
Who knows? Maybe after you’ve tried every zany look you can imagine, you’ll realize following the trends was right for you all along.
