WILSHERE: Picking up the pieces

I’ve been told that I have to find myself abroad. This always moves me to feel like there are pieces of me that are lost like pennies I’ve dropped on the sidewalk, forgotten. I have a slight aversion to this sentimentality and phrasing. The pieces of me that are claimed to have been lost somewhere in the shuffle of maintaining grades and appearances were just in a dormant state. Already a week into my abroad program, I’ve noticed an internal change. It didn’t take long for me to realize that there were parts of myself that I was ignoring; things that I had enjoyed a long time ago that I had forgotten made me happy.

During a day trip to Camden to reconnect with my long-lost rock and roll roots, I stopped at a food stand to pick up some steamed dumplings. It was something so simple, something seemingly so trivial, but I had forgotten how much I loved street food. Walking around the cobblestone markets and looking at different variations of the same band T-shirts were wonderful. I finally realized how much I loved walking around, food in my hands, exploring a new part of the city. I found a piece of myself that had been dormant. I felt a wave of happiness overcome me and hit me like the frigid London breeze. These past few months, I had been ignoring the longest relationship that I am in. I had been ignoring the relationship I have with myself.

I penned my first Daily Free Press article about the importance of dating ourselves and learning the most about ourselves while we are unburdened by the full commitments of families, children or careers. We, as college-aged millennials, are so young. We are still discovering things about ourselves, exploring different facets of our characters that have yet to emerge. We can try and fail. We can look deep within ourselves to remember there are things that can make us happy that we have forgotten about. We can dedicate the time we need to ourselves, exploring new things and trying out new adventures. I am fortunate enough to be able to take this time while I am abroad. 

I have often written that the best relationship people can have is with their selves. This is not to say that romantic, familial and platonic relationships are not as important. This is to say that the relationship we harbor with ourselves is the longest, most powerful relationship we should work on. We should make sure to take the time to learn about ourselves, to remember the things that used to make us happy and to take a step back from our GPAs and deadlines. It almost seems like an unsolicited piece of advice coming from someone who is lucky enough to take this time to rediscover themselves while abroad, but I must emphasize the importance of taking care of ourselves.   

At school and at work, we are so busy grinding ourselves to the core that we forget what truly makes us happy. Somehow we lose pieces of ourselves in the shuffle of a daily routine, forgetting the smile that appears on our face after hearing our favorite album or wearing our favorite pajamas. I know it may sound trivial, redundant or even both, but sometimes we have to be reminded of the things that bring us true happiness. Naturally, it is easy to reflect upon a situation now that I’ve had some time to think about it. It is easy for me to take time to step back and think about the past few months because I have both the physical and emotional distance. But as I spend more time here in London exploring, and reawakening parts of me that I felt have been left behind, I am strengthening the relationship I have with myself. I am not merely finding myself but I am falling back in love with a person I believed I had lost. I am finally picking up the pieces.