I was sitting at the George Sherman Union the other day when an older gentleman approached me and asked about the sticker of actress Lauren Bacall pasted on the back of my laptop. After bonding over our shared love of Jean Arthur comedies from the 1930s, the man posed a question: How can we get more kids your age to watch old movies?

Bromance, drugs, A-list cameos, a Top 40 musical number, more drugs and vulgar humor — this is not a Christmas movie for people on the nice list. The setup is familiar. It’s the same basic formula...