These things seem really simple, but they took a lot of effort. The cycle of self-hate is a vicious one, and I’ve realized that breaking away from it  takes a lot of work. 

I know how messed up it is. I use filters because I don’t like how my skin looks, and then I dislike my skin more because I’m constantly comparing it to the filtered version. It’s a version of me that doesn’t exist but somehow feels more real than my reflection.

I love it, but I know every “clean girl” aesthetic, every dewy no-makeup makeup routine and every “morning shed” ritual is just another layer of consumerism dressed up as self-care. But knowing doesn’t stop me. If anything, it makes me more fascinated. I don’t just want to use these products — I want to understand why we want them so badly in the first place.