Dear Abby: I’m about to graduate in a few months and my life is going to change. Would it be crazy to try and get into a relationship before then? Or am I just setting myself up for failure?

Ah, the pre-graduation spiral. How fun. The cap and gown are being ordered, the job hunt is underway and suddenly you’re wondering if you should also secure a significant other before you flip your tassel.

I’m being sarcastic, but this is actually a good question. For the most part, humans are not solitary creatures. The more we mature the more we tend to want to find a significant other who can fulfill our physical and emotional needs, going beyond the tacit connection between friends. However, many people drag their feet when entering relationships — wary of committing themselves to a person who might drift away.

Graduation, I will agree, is a strange cutoff point. No one’s life will look exactly the same after as it did while they were in college. Everyone is moving and priorities shift. But let me play devil’s advocate here and say I don’t think it’s impossible to find love senior year if you lead with intention and effort – though there are some drawbacks. 

The more I thought about it, I couldn’t help but wonder: Is the second semester of senior year too late to find love?

Some considerations

The thing about going to a big school like Boston University is that everyone is from everywhere. And we’re not just surrounded by one campus — we’re surrounded by several. The dating pool is expansive, yes — but it’s also transient. Which naturally leads to a looming question: what does a relationship look like once proximity is removed?

It’s a fair concern. College relationships thrive on convenience, from shared libraries to shared friend groups. It’s easy to run into your lover on Commonwealth Avenue. But once graduation scatters everyone back to their respective corners of the globe, convenience disappears — and what remains is intention.

So before you spiral, consider the development of the relationship itself. Rome wasn’t built in a day, and neither is real emotional intimacy. Real bonds take time — they are built not just on attraction, but consistency. In my experience, it takes at least a month or two of steady communication and shared experience to understand whether something has substance. And as of March? You still have time.

But even if the timeline feels tight, here is my stance: There is no harm in trying.

Love is not wasted simply because it doesn’t last forever. Every connection teaches you something — about your needs, boundaries, communication style and capacity for vulnerability. To love and lose is not failure — it is a refinement of yourself and your needs. Loving is never a waste. 

Now, we do have to address the logistical elephant in the room: distance.

If graduation places you and this person in different cities, states or countries, you must ask yourself whether long distance aligns with your temperament. I firmly believe proximity does not define love. Depth, effort and shared vision do. That said, some people thrive on physical closeness, while others can sustain connection through intentional communication and planned visits.

Neither preference is wrong. But self-awareness matters.

And if you’re someone who knows you need physical closeness? Be strategic and date with geography in mind. There is nothing unromantic about acknowledging the challenges of logistics.

Love may be spontaneous, but sustaining it requires practicality.

What’s the worst that could happen?

No, really. Ask yourself that. Because I think the fear of heartbreak and getting attached to someone else right before your circumstances drastically change is what keeps a lot of people at arm’s length as graduation approaches. It feels safer to pack up your apartment than to pack on new emotional baggage.

Opening yourself up to potential heartbreak feels particularly reckless when everything else is already uncertain. Why add emotional risk to logistical upheaval? Why intertwine your heart with someone when your zip code is about to change?

It’s a reasonable hesitation. But remember, I’m here to play devil’s advocate.

We speak about heartbreak as though it is evidence of poor judgment or loving at an inconvenient time is somehow naïve. In reality, it is often the opposite. To feel something fully in a transitional season requires a certain steadiness. It requires a willingness to let life unfold without attempting to control every outcome.

There is nothing inherently irresponsible about exploring connection before a life change. You do not have to draft a five-year plan with the person you meet at a bar. You do not have to convert chemistry into commitment overnight. You are allowed to test the waters. You are allowed to enjoy someone’s company without immediately calculating the longevity of it.

But if, in the process, your connection begins to feel meaningful — if it feels grounding rather than distracting — do not dismiss it simply because the timing is imperfect.

Adulthood is not a sequence of neatly aligned milestones. It is often built in the in-between spaces — in the months before departure, in the uncertainty and in the willingness to be a little vulnerable. 

My point

Maybe I’ve seen too many rom-coms. Maybe I am a bit of a hopeless romantic. But I do believe there are people in this world we are meant to encounter. Not in a fatalistic, destiny-written-in-the-stars way, but in the sense that certain connections feel aligned. 

And I think it would be shortsighted to dismiss a genuinely good connection simply because the calendar feels inconvenient.

Yes, graduation changes things, geography matters and timing is a real factor to consider. But so is chemistry. So is compatibility. So is the rare ease of conversation that makes you forget to check your phone.

We are so quick to protect ourselves from potential endings that we sometimes preemptively end things that have barely begun.

A relationship does not have to be permanent to be meaningful or survive decades to justify its existence. Some connections are meant to teach. Some are meant to transform. Some are meant to last. You rarely know which one it will be at the outset.

So my answer to you all is yes, it is possible to find love even as a second semester senior. Just make sure you’re choosing from curiosity and hope, not fear of leaving empty-handed. The right connection will not feel like a countdown clock. It will feel like something worth navigating — wherever you both land next.