I first watched “Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind” when I was 10 years old. I admit that this was solely due to the fact that it was my mom’s response to the favorite movie question — and I became curious.
It’s a love story about two people who know that they’re wrong for each other. Joel is standoffish, but Clementine is an eccentric freethinker. Their relationship eventually deteriorates and — spoiler alert — ends in a painful breakup.
Shortly after, Joel receives a yellow telegram from a mysterious company informing him that Clementine had him erased from her memory. Joel was then asked to never mention the relationship to her again. Upon this discovery, Joel contacts this groundbreaking company and has his memory of Clementine removed.
The film takes us into Joel’s brain as he undergoes the memory-erasing procedure. He felt her fading as he relived their memories together — the drunken fights and the sweet nothings as they laid stargazing on a frozen lake.
Clementine contrasted the cool-toned hues of his memory with her constantly-evolving neon hair colors. He particularly latched onto a moment from their exploration of an empty beach house during a snowstorm, shown in dim-lighting through a softly blurred lens. She whispered to him, “Meet me in Montauk.”
Upon the realization that he still loved her, he tried to fight against the procedure. He attempted to hide her in childhood memories from before they met to keep her safe from the metal machine that circled his head. His inner monologue screams asking if he can be heard, and proclaiming that he doesn’t want to go through it all anymore. Despite his efforts, in Joel’s brain, Clementine ceased to exist.
A chance encounter on a train from Montauk brought the two together again after they each felt an inexplicable urge to walk on the beach. The blue-haired girl approached the sullen-looking man and they connected immediately, neither one knowing that they were speaking to their lost love.
After sparking up their relationship again, they discover the tape recordings where they had divulged the things they hated about each other. Though initially insulted about the recordings, they realize that they need to accept the worst parts of each other. Though they knew that Joel would eventually find things he doesn’t like about her and Clementine will later find him boring, they both simply say, “okay,” and get together anyways.
At the time, I found the film hard to grasp with its vignettes of an adult relationship that depicted intimacy and heartbreak. Today, looking through the lens of a college student, I relate to this film more than ever.
After watching many idealistic romantic movies in my lifetime, I was struck by the emotional depth of this film. I loved the transparent, realistic portrayal of a relationship. Joel and Clementine were plagued with insecurity and dysfunction, as we all are.
In the awkward and uncomfortable moments of personal development, I find that sometimes I’d like to erase certain memories. It would be easy to get over romantic failures or losing loved ones with a simple procedure. This way, you might avoid a few days, months, or years of pain.
Unfortunately, that would leave me emotionally stunted. If I had erased every embarrassing memory of mine, I’d probably have the emotional maturity of a toddler.
Watching the film at age 20, I discovered my favorite moment from the film: A conversation between two workers that administered Joel’s procedure. A young worker named Mary is trying to impress her boss, Dr. Howard, who has to come to check on Joel after his emotional persistence caused a small problem with the machine.
She is completely enamored with her older, married boss and spoke to him in a sense of desperation. As they sat by Joel’s unconscious body, she asked to share some quotes with him that she thought he would like. She recites one by Alexander Pope:
“How happy is the blameless vestal’s lot!
The world forgetting, by the world forgot
Eternal sunshine of the spotless mind!
Each pray’r accepted, and each wish resign’d.”
As she spoke, the film cut to another memory. Clementine and Joel giggling on the fluorescent-lit city streets as they watched a nighttime parade of The Greatest Show on Earth elephants pass by. Though suddenly, Clementine disappears.
The sweet, nostalgic scene paired with this quote made me consider the meaning of the film’s title. It implies that our memories are the “spots” that decorate our lives. A spotless mind is one without memory or experience. Joel and Clementine discovered that a life of constant sunshine is unattainable, and an ignorant life without one’s painful memories is meaningless.
Ignorance is a cheap escape from pain that only leaves you a less developed version of yourself.
