Disclaimer: I know my mom is going to read this article and laugh because yesterday I was ranting to her about my fears of the future. This is dedicated to her.
As I head into my senior year of college, I’m feeling all of the feelings.
Senior year is glamorized in the media. The dramatic cap toss, the senioritis and the parties — it’s romanticized. And why wouldn’t it be? Senior year is a massive deal.
But while this last year of college entails all the exhilaration of exploring and roaming around Boston with my best friends, it also means that everything is shifting.
“Last” is exciting, but “last” can be depressing.
This is the last first day of classes.
This is the last year that all my friends are living in the same place.
At the end of this school year, the people I can’t imagine not seeing every day are going to scatter across the globe.
Once graduation arrives, I can never come back to this campus as a silly little student with the people who make this place so special to me. I know that I can always come back to visit, but it won’t ever be the same.
My undergraduate years have been the first real step into adulthood. While undergrad can be daunting, there’s still this unspoken rule that you’re supposed to make mistakes. You’re not expected to be perfect yet, and you still have the room and grace to figure out who you want to be.
I love being a student. It’s a time when responsibilities feel manageable, and the full weight of adulthood hasn’t quite hit yet. Your main focus is you — your studies, your self-discovery and your growth.
But once you graduate, that degree is a clear signal: it’s time to figure out what’s next.
I remember a few years ago — which still feels like yesterday — when I anxiously applied to schools and wondered if I’d even get into BU after being rejected from other schools that were supposedly easier to get into.
The college application process was a constant reminder that nothing in life is certain. It was grueling.
And now here I am, with only one year left before graduation. It feels surreal. I’m sure you can relate.
There’s this unspoken pressure that comes with being an adult. Your focus is no longer just on grades or finishing your degree. It’s about figuring out “real life” — from what job to pursue to where to live once you leave the BU bubble.
It’s a lot.
Growing up can be terrifying. Anyone who’s faced the unknown knows exactly how that feels.
It’s hard to imagine yourself in a new phase of life when everything around you is changing. And yeah, when it was time for college, I was scared of growing up — and I still am. I was terrified to leave home, move to a new city and start college, without knowing who I’d become or who I’d meet.
But I had to do it — and so did you. How else would we ever figure out who we really are?
I’m still fearful of the unknown. I have a million questions about my future, the path I’ll take and the person I want to become. But at 21, I feel like I have a little more clarity than I did even just a year ago. That’s kind of beautiful.
By no means do I have it all figured out, but I know more than I did last year. And that’s all I can ask for.
The fear of the future is real. I felt it then, and I still feel it now.
But I try to remind myself that nine times out of 10, the place you are right now is exactly where you wanted to be in the past — or at least that’s true for me. When I think about it like that, I realize there’s no point in stressing about what’s next, even though sometimes that’s hard to avoid.
Yes, it’s natural to think about what’s coming. But I’m learning to take it one step at a time.
So here’s where I stand: I’m not scared of getting older.
Sure, my 20s and 30s once seemed like far-off milestones, but now that they’re almost here? They still feel a little distant, but not nearly as intimidating as they once did. In fact, I’m actually looking forward to the next chapter after college.
But not yet.
Not until I fully experience my senior year.
Until next time,
Maia
