College applications bring out the best and the worst in people. They reveal our high school accomplishments and indicate a readiness to move on. They force us to form a list of our top schools — giving us a hint of where we might spend our next four years but with limited certainty.
They are deeply frustrating and tedious, but the anticipation for decision day gives us something to hold onto. College applications are certificates of success, tickets to excitement and sometimes glorified representations of stress, competition and unrealistic expectations.
The entire college process entails a mix of complicated emotions. First and foremost, it brings relief. For many, high school had become a tired experience, and seniors are ready for a change of scenery.
College applications, therefore, become the much-needed sign of survival. Going on college tours and browsing through websites is an inspiring and exciting responsibility and starts to make the transition actually feel real.
For others, the whole process is completely overwhelming. They have no idea where they want to go, no idea what they want to do with their futures and no interest in looking through a million different websites that claim to offer something unique.
With so many options and so much uncertainty of how to narrow down the search, college applications turn into a chore, coming second to the demands of the present.
Still others, who do not plan on going to college, likely feel left out during the craze of the process. College talk seems to be unavoidable: adults constantly asking where you are applying, friends obsess over the stress and anticipation and college vocabulary frequently seeps into classroom discussion.
No matter where you stand — and whether you like it or not — colleges consume conversations for days, weeks and months of senior year.
Again, this process — despite being tedious and filled with uncertainty — is often a significant source of relief, excitement and accomplishment. The feeling of finally submitting those applications and committing to a school is incredible. It shows how your hard work has paid off and gives a real shape to what the next years of your life might look like.
But behind the scenes of the rewarding emails of admission and glorious balloon-filled announcements, a sense of competitiveness and unworthiness lingers below the surface. When classmates start to commit to schools, there becomes a sense of desperation to know what your own future holds.
This creates an inevitable sense of urgency, which is exacerbated by glorified social media posts of gratitude and apparent certainty.
Often, during the waiting period between submitting the application and hearing back about the decision, we start to imagine ourselves receiving acceptance letters. It becomes such an unavoidable and comforting vision that we start to really believe we will get into our top choice school.
We form idealized images and outrageous expectations, tricking ourselves into believing that this one school is the only school that is right for us.
But when we don’t get into this one school, we are devastated. We have been deceived by our own minds, forcing ourselves to believe that we would be happiest there, fooled by the cruel weight mindlessly put on acceptance rates. We feel unfairly inferior, wrongfully caught up in the prestige instead of the reason why we were excited about college in the first place.
There is no one school that is perfect for any one person. There are so many different places for you to thrive and be happy and successful. But we get caught up in the process, blinded by the experience of our peers and our self-formed expectations.
Instead of the crazy amounts of pressure that we put on ourselves to uphold these expectations for perfection — and the ruthless competition and jealousy we feel as a result — we need to have perspective on the college process.
It’s not about where you go so much as about what you do there. So take pride in your decision, be confident about your accomplishments and be excited about moving on. That’s the most important part.
