I was saving myself for the right time when it came to dating. High school was a rough patch and an absolute desert of a love life. My first semester in college let me experience dating for the first time. Did we ever go on a second date? No, but I still had a pleasant first dating experience and will happily share some things I learned. I have been giving relationship advice to my friends for years, and it works most of the time, so I think I’m qualified for this task!
Have fun wandering around
Before my date, I looked for suitable locations and found this nice bookstore on Newbury Street. It had a good menu, looked interesting and I was super excited — only for it to be packed when we got there.
Normally, I would search for a backup place, but guess who didn’t do that? Instead, my date and I wandered around the bookstore and eventually explored Newbury Street’s beauty. We went in and out of stores, and I got to see so many items I didn’t buy. Actively walking let us talk more to each other and get to know one another. Not accounting for the fact that it was snowing that day, I almost fell on my butt once or twice, which leads me to my next point.
Check the weather
Having that moment of someone wanting to go out with you is great. It’s like you’re the main character of your show, and you’re finally getting your big break. Please keep in mind that the world doesn’t revolve around your plans. The world might be more against you. I got all dressed up in a nice outfit — good boots and everything — only for it to be covered by my bulky jacket most of the time. My boots became my sworn enemy. Waterproof apparently doesn’t equal snowproof.
It’s hard to look cute for your date when you are moments away from becoming a street performer by doing the splits on an icy sidewalk. Make that mental note to check the weather and properly prepare for it. The last thing you need is to be sweating because you’re overdressed or have your makeup be smudged before you get on the T.
Get some talking points ready
My date was nice and had so much to talk about — their interests, history, college experience, you name it. I’ve always loved learning about new people, but my date was probably not getting that energy from me. To say it in the simplest way possible, I totally froze during our conversations. I only listened. I wanted to say stuff, but with this being my first date ever, I froze up and panicked about what I should do or say next.
This advice could be ignored if you give off a dark, mysterious vibe where the world wants to know about you, but you let nothing out. Considering that I probably looked like I was zoning out in the Shake Shack we ate at — you should probably get some topics ready. If you go on a date, and they don’t let you talk at all, that is not a moment of relief, but a massive red flag. Not having this problem doesn’t mean you are in the clear.
Let’s say you get yourself really prepared for your date. You dress well, make backup plans for places to go to and know exactly what to say. Then you depart with a goodbye and have dry text conversations afterwards, but nothing else. What should you do then? Here is my last piece of advice, and it’s a big one.
Realize it might not go well
You could do all the right things and still leave the date with nothing more than a hug. That’s okay. Sure, you didn’t get that first kiss or something more if you know what I mean, but we are all adults. In high school, you might keep dating someone for attention or because you feel the need for a partner. Sometimes people don’t want to have a second date. You get the experience from it, and you can always do better with the next person.
So, what did we learn today? Basically, don’t do what I did — be a nervous trainwreck. Having never dated in high school, I didn’t know what to expect that day. A date is like hanging out with friends with the bonus that you may get a kiss. Maybe getting into a relationship in high school might have eased my fears, but at the end of the day, I survived and got a free lunch — so who really won in the end?
