MAHDI: Retail therapy

Exactly 50 years ago yesterday, Russia’s Yuri Gagarin became the first man to be catapulted into space. Russia’s frigidity in global affairs was temporarily forgotten as the whole world reveled in this victory for mankind – we had come one large step closer to conquering space. That night, young children who dreamed of one day becoming astronauts pursued their ambition with more conviction than ever before. More importantly, that step showed limits being transcended by mankind. All of a sudden, other limits were lifted, like the limits on what money could buy. This was not money spent on going to war, starting a company or an arbitrary investment of no consequence to the majority. This was funding an endeavor that was fueled by a childlike curiosity.

Perhaps a maiden space voyage, taken half a century ago, was when our infatuation with buying happiness began. The days where buying a piece of exercise equipment to fit in right next to your infinity pool were over. This set was incomplete without the chirpy personal trainer who had to harass you to actually use it. Long gone were the days when we carried around diaries with all our assignments and meeting reminders scrawled haphazardly across the pages. Now we have Blackberries and Internet calendars sounding off with obnoxious alarms ensuring that you remember your dreaded dentist appointment. As people are making more money, it seems that they seek out even more ridiculous ways to spend it.

Nevertheless, the personal trainer, the stylist and even the life coach are being disposed of in favor of a more otherworldly counterpart. Welcome the rise of the spiritual life guru. More and more professionals with money to burn are turning to these mystic-therapist hybrids to tackle major decisions in their lives. Is it that we can no longer trust our own judgment and have to buy the right to someone else’s? Successful women in the business world remain dominant gatekeepers of their financial and entrepreneurial destinies. Yet, when faced with a heartbreaking separation from a long-term boyfriend, they fling hundreds of dollars at the nearest middle-aged woman gazing into a crystal ball.

Just as Yuri Gagarin enjoyed the escape of space flight, emotionally lost but financially well-endowed people are struggling to do the same. By all means, clear your ‘chakras,’ or channels of energy flowing through your body. Heighten your otherworldly contact through a hike in the mountains or a vigorous deep tissue massage at the nearest scenic spa retreat. Why is it that in a social stratum where there are people with access to higher education, money and a myriad of experience, these same individuals have such little faith in their own judgment? How is it considered acceptable that mentally sound adults are calling their ‘spiritual’ guardians to inquire whether ordering in Chinese or Italian one night will have any bearing on their future well-being?

These gurus, thrust into popular culture when they were known to be of service to the Beatles, argue that they do not intend to make or influence the decisions of their clients, but merely prepare them mentally for effective decision-making. That sounds like the equivalent to fast food giants announcing that they don’t actually kill people, but they provide foods heaving with trans-fat and oil so they can prepare addicted consumers for a premature death.

Rousseau wisely noted that the primitive man needed very few comforts: food, water, rest and companionship. You would assume that a simple remedy to talk many people off of the edge of sanity is the giddiness of finding true love. Frank Sinatra waxed lyrical about flying to the moon and playing among the stars with someone special. While it seems unlikely that the Russian space program’s first mission into space was for the same purpose, bliss in companionship will yield the same hypothetical result.

But here is the problem – while it is commonly accepted that money may be able to buy space voyages and mystics, it absolutely cannot buy love. The recent creation of a new dating website controversially challenges this notion. Whatsyourprice.com splits its users into two categories: the generous (financially) and the attractive. These ‘attractive’ women name their price, and it is up to the ‘generous’ men to make a bid for a date. When asked about the similarity to outright prostitution, the site replied, “When capitalism is mixed in with dating, all of a sudden people start concluding ‘it must be prostitution’. But does paying money for a cup of coffee every morning mean Starbucks is engaging in prostitution? Does paying for gas every time you fill up at the gas station mean that Mobil or BP is pimping?”

Just as Yuri Gagarin had to eventually terminate his dalliance into space, it seems like it’s time many more of us came back down to Earth. Any business venture that justifies itself by proposing logic that describes BP as ‘pimping’ can only lead to disaster. As we take a moment to marvel at the half a century since the advent of space travel, maybe we should take another to denounce the regression of our standards. Bartering belongs in the food market and should stay there. If we just strayed our hands away from the zips and clips of our wallets, there could be a possibility that people will remember what internal cleansing was before wheatgrass shots, and in a nostalgic haze maybe they will find inner peace at less than 250 dollars an hour.

Sofiya Mahdi is a freshman at the College of Arts and Sciences and a weekly columnist for The Daily Free Press. She can be reached at  sofiya218@gmail.com