We live in a society that is hyper-fixated on age.
Our social media timelines are saturated with content on preserving youth. We psychoanalyze relationship age gaps and glorify young success as if achievement has an expiration date.
We’ve likely all heard or even used the phrase “age is just a number,” perhaps as a rebuttal or even justification for choices that don’t align with society’s conventional timelines.
However, in fashion, age almost always proves to be more than a number— it becomes a rule book with rigid restrictions based on the ever-changing definition of appropriate.
If you’re considered “too young,” the rulebook urges you to avoid dressing too maturely—You don’t want to send the wrong message. If you’re considered “too old,” it tells you to graduate from the once-loved short hemlines and daring necklines. It’s a paradox that polices age from every angle: you don’t want to look like you’re clinging onto youth. But also, don’t fade too far into the background as you age.
If you lie somewhere between these poles, life becomes a perpetual balancing act of finding the middle ground. The rule book tells us we must respect the balance, echoing the premise of the 2024 film, “The Substance”, in which an aging celebrity takes a black market drug to become younger and “better” once again.
A 2005 People Magazine article by Emily Fromm titled “Dressing Their Age” broke down side-by-side looks from 11 celebrities and criticized their outfits as either “too young” or “too old” for their age.
On singer Mariah Carey, Fromm wrote “The songbird was bursting at the seams in a teen-queen-worthy T-shirt dress in London recently. By comparison, the olive-colored, curve-hugging sheath she donned in New York City looks almost demure.”
This quote perfectly represents the issue at hand with age and fashion — it’s a losing battle.
Fromm criticizes Carey’s playful approach to dressing, but when she takes a more understated approach to dressing, sporting a midi-length dress, she still somehow misses the demure mark.
Touché!
Notably, every celebrity scrutinized in this article was a woman. This pattern adds another layer to the issue: the policing of age is deeply rooted in misogyny. Our society has become so comfortable with openly judging women that specific topics have subconsciously become gendered.
Recent articles on the subject of age-appropriate are significantly less abrasive than the controversial 2000s. While this definitely points to signs of positive progression, there is still more work to be done.
A 2020 Forbes article, “Gendered Ageism Is The New Sexism,” by Cynthia Barnes, founder and CEO of the National Association of Women’s Sales Professionals, explores how women experience different types of prejudice in the workplace based on their age range.
Although the article isn’t inherently related to fashion, it provides insight into the uniquely feminine experience that is so bounding and oppressive.
“I’ve seen time and time again how female…professionals have had to prove that they’re every bit the professional that a man is,” Barnes wrote. “Now, it’s not just that they are a woman; it’s frequently that they are a woman of a ‘certain age’… Gendered ageism affects women of all ages…Can women ever win?”
This haunting question lingers, forcing us to confront the barriers still faced.
Despite the harsh ageism that women are subject to, so many women are willing to step outside the box and dress confidently for themselves. With the 2025 award season underway, the red carpet has already given us many looks that challenge the norms of “age-appropriate” fashion.
Actress Nicole Kidman wore a backless Balenciaga gown to the Golden Globe Awards on Jan. 7. Just four days earlier, Kidman shared a post on her Instagram with 10.4 million followers, captioned “Kicking off 2025 with @Wmag.” Kidman posed in lingerie and sprawled sensually across a car, on-theme with the erotic thriller “Babygirl” she is nominated for this award season.
The post has over 2,800 comments with a wide range of reactions.
Some were quick to tear Kidman down, as one commenter wrote, “I don’t remember her doing this when she was young. Why now, with grown daughters? Cringe and an embarrassment.”
Others were quick to come to her defense. “It’s amazing how many people are threatened by a beautiful middle-aged woman owning her sexuality,” said one comment that amassed over 750 likes. Despite the hate, Nicole Kidman has unapologetically embraced her evolving identity.
My favorite rule-breaker is Kate Moss, known for stepping outside the box with her fashion and attitude toward life. At age 50, Moss made her Victoria’s Secret runway debut at the brand’s 2024 show. She strutted down the runway effortlessly in a sexy, sheer black lace dress.
Critics might try to slap an expiration date on individuality, but women like Nicole Kidman, Kate Moss and so many others in their everyday lives are proving the rule book obsolete. Age is no match for confidence.
The real secret?
The only outdated thing is the notion that style has an age limit.