My father has advised me to never, ever, become a lawyer. He’s been practicing law for 21 years, and that’s one of the biggest pieces of legal advice he has ever given to me and my little sister. It was one of those things he would state at a family dinner while we picked at potatoes and prayed for the ice cream our grandad got us.
Despite his advice, our family dinner table quickly turned into a debate stage, a battle of wits if you will, with no mercy shown to those who could not outsmart the other. On Wednesday nights specifically, our dad and grandad, who are both lawyers, would launch into political debate, which would be my little sister’s and my cue to go watch “Modern Family” or “The Bachelor” with our mother.
Instead of fantasizing about screaming matches with the lineage of lawyers on my dad’s side, I dreamed about becoming a famous writer, singer or actress — or something along those lines. There were many “You can do it!”s in the beginning, but as I get closer to the age of 20, those “You can do it!”s have turned into “Well, there’s always law school.”
Instead of prancing around singing Rachel Platten in bright red lipstick, I rot in my bed and watch an endless flow of law school TikToks. As it turns out, many of my peers are in a similar spot.
Everyone’s going to law school.
It seems like law is the default for anyone who falls outside of the STEM realm. I guess if we can’t be doctors, we should try to be lawyers. After all, that’s where the money is. If we’re lucky, we can squeeze in some pro bono or take a pilates class. Then we can be truly happy and fulfilled.
There they come. In a swarm of business casual, it’s America’s future lawyers. Every time you turn a corner, boom! A future lawyer stands before you. Actually, it’s more like every time you ask the person next to you what they’re studying, they’ll tell you “[insert humanities major] on a pre-law track.”
There are many components to becoming what I call a Very Successful Lawyer™. For one, you have to do everything perfectly in undergrad. Keep your GPA high, work multiple jobs, score internships and receive a high score on another standardized test.
“What, like it’s hard?” is a lethal quote, because yes, Elle Woods, it is very hard to become a Very Successful Lawyer™. All of these things that I must do to become the Very Successful Lawyer™ have been put into the “I’ll get to it” bucket.
Unlike some of my peers, I haven’t gotten around to writing five full-length novels, doing an internship with a monumental person or founding organizations. I spent my summer scooping ice cream, doing theater and freaking out because — to be completely honest — I have no clue what I want to do.
The list of things I like to do are as follows: Sing and dance around, make people laugh, write (sometimes, and often begrudgingly because I don’t like when it’s bad), spend time with friends, perform (again, begrudgingly, because I don’t like when it’s bad)
This list is ever changing, which I worry about because many of the choices I make today feel like another hit from the chisel to the sculpture of my life. I am worried that instead of making a David, I’ll end up making a sad, confused rock.
I don’t hate the idea of law school. I actually really enjoy some of the things lawyers do. I like analyzing arguments and word choice. I like debate. My dad says that there are moments where it’s interesting, then boring, then maddening. The idea of varied days excites me as well.
Really, the idea of being a lawyer isn’t repulsive to me at all. I’m just worried that I will wake up one day, regardless of whether I become a lawyer or a writer or something else, and regret everything.
You know, that easily digestible kind of feeling.
My dad also tells me not to be afraid of that feeling — that everything always works out. So, maybe I should just listen. In reality, the only thing I can do right now as a 19-year-old girl in college is deal with what comes with today and think about tomorrow, tomorrow. I have to believe that everything will work out — I’m not at Yale like I wanted to be when I was 12, which was influenced by “Good Luck, Charlie!”, and I’m perfectly content.
So maybe instead of waking up in a panic, I’ll wake up just fine.