For the past few months, I’ve been lucky enough to roam to cities all over Europe from Amsterdam to Athens, Greece, creating quite a lot to cross off the bucket list when I get home. While traveling around I’ve seen ruins from my textbooks and eaten authentic cuisines that I never thought I’d try.
One thing I haven’t done is travel alone.
Before I left to study abroad, I made my parents three promises:
- I would try not to spend all their money.
- I would make sure to contact them on a weekly basis.
- I would never travel anywhere far by myself.
I’ve done my best to listen to my parents. My budget is getting tight but fortunately (and unfortunately) this semester is almost over. Though Wi-Fi is spotty, my parents are kept in the loop and know that I’m alive.
The third promise I made had almost been broken. However, at the last minute I decided not to travel alone and instead stay in London for the weekend. Part of this was to please my parents, but in the back of my mind something was telling me not to do it.
But where does this idea of not traveling alone sprout from?
My whole life, I’ve always been warned not to go anywhere alone even when I’m back home in the United States. At first I thought it was my parents being overprotective (which they can be at times, like all parents).
When I got older and started to fight them about going to places alone, they told me it was because I am not a boy. Now, me being a man was something that I couldn’t change and I was furious with my parents for making a decision based on my gender.
Yet, I couldn’t fully blame them for how they felt. We live in a world where women seem to be targeted much more than men when they are alone. In fact, women are encouraged not to be by themselves all the time.
Don’t walk to your car alone at night.
Always try to go out in groups.
Learn self-defense to protect yourself.
All of this advice, of course, can also be applied to men. Everyone should be cautious. However, so much if this advice is geared towards women. I’ve read countless articles about women traveling the world alone, some seeing it as dangerous and others as a brave, beautiful thing.
When I see articles of men traveling alone, they mostly speak of how incredible their traveling is whether it be how far they went on foot or what amazing activities they did. What I don’t see is men being constantly warned not to travel by themselves. It seems like their possibilities are unrestricted.
We’re restricted because the world is not made to be a safe place for us. Instead of being encouraged to go wherever we want whenever we want, women are told to constantly watch their backs in fear of being attacked.
As I’ve wandered through Europe, there have been times where I’m happy that I’m traveling with friends. It’s always nice to split the bill and to have someone to take your photo in front of famous landmarks.
What isn’t great is still being harassed on the street even when in groups. Even in places that are supposedly safe for tourists, women are still made to feel uncomfortable or unsafe due to our gender.
These aren’t just random instances of cat callers. I’ve heard stories from friends about men going as far as following them back to their place and having to come up with crazy ways to shake them off their trail.
As I did more research on traveling alone, I kept seeing the same things come up in regards to a woman being by herself when going places. It seems that if a woman decides to go off on her own, if something bad happens, it is her fault for not being careful enough. The main lesson I learned from a lot of these websites was that if you’re not careful you will run a high risk of being kidnapped and/or raped.
Robbery and theft came up on these lists as well, but the two consequences stated above were exclusively geared forwards women. It is both terrifying and unfair that because of my gender, I am automatically more likely to be involved in these horrifying scenarios.
There were so many tips about how to keep safe, but what I wanted to see is how we’re changing traveling for women to make it safer and not regarded as a dangerous activity. I am disappointed that I live in a world where I cannot choose to travel alone without thinking twice about it.
Traveling in general brings more risks for women and there are so many factors to consider before choosing to go it alone. From seeing if pepper spray is allowed to doing extensive research on the safety of the city you’re traveling to, women must go the extra mile to protect themselves long before even touching down in foreign land.
