As an impatient overthinker, I’m not capable of anything remotely casual in a relationship. I don’t want to jinx my current relationship, but at the very least, I hope I never have to go through another “talking stage” again.
However, “Normal People,” a TV mini series about two characters going in and out of each other’s romantic lives, is one of my favorite TV shows and I’ve watched plenty of my friends get played by potential partners. So, I know enough about situationships to come up with a few songs to recommend to anyone who has tried but realized they can’t handle them.
If you’re feeling bitter or looking for something to listen to late at night wondering, “Why don’t they like me enough to date me?” I’ve got a few songs you might find relatable, even though a lot of complicated emotions go into a relationship that isn’t exclusive or official.
The Neighbourhood’s “Baby Come Home 2 / Valentines” and Conan Gray’s “Wish You Were Sober” are relatable if you’ve put a lot of effort into something that isn’t going to work out. “Ode to a Conversation Stuck in Your Throat” by Del Water Gap is a great jealousy song.
If you’re questioning whether or not everything was imaginary, turn to “in my head” by Ariana Grande, “All In My Head” by Tori Kelly, “Close To You” by Gracie Abrams or “ceilings” by Lizzy McAlpine. “Drew Barrymore” and “Supermodel” are two songs by SZA I recommend for any romance-related insecurities.
“Casual” by Chappell Roan is the situationship anthem. Roan expresses the frustration of when you can’t handle a casual relationship anymore with lyrics like, “And I try to be the chill girl that / Holds her tongue and gives your space / I try to be the chill girl but / Honestly, I’m not.”
Taylor Swift also seems to have mastered putting the messy aftermath of a situationship into words.
Her song “Is It Over Now?” is pop perfection. Along with phenomenal production, Swift’s vocal cadence and lyricism on the track are addicting. The lyrics in the outro, “I was hoping you’d be there / And say the one thing (Oh, Lord) / I’ve been wanting (Oh, Lord) / But no” apply well to failed situationships.
I could argue that “folklore” is Taylor Swift’s best album. It might take the cake lyrically. “august” contains some of Swift’s prettiest lyrics and also captures that feeling of knowing someone won’t commit to a relationship with you, no matter how badly you want them to. Swift sings, “Wanting was enough / For me, it was enough / To live for the hope of it all / Cancel plans just in case you’d call / And say, ‘Meet me behind the mall.’”
I disliked enough songs from Swift’s “THE TORTURED POETS DEPARTMENT” to say I didn’t like the album, but Swift redeemed herself with her lyricism in “So Long, London” and “loml.”
The lyrics “I wish I could un-recall / How we almost had it all / Dancing phantoms on the terrace / Are they second-hand embarrassed / That I can’t get out of bed / ‘Cause something counterfeit’s dead?” from “loml” illustrates heartbreak over something you never had, similar to “august.”
In “So Long, London,” Swift’s lyrics, “My friends said it isn’t right to be scared / Every day of a love affair / Every breath feels like rarest air / When you’re not sure if he wants to be there,” apply well to that feeling of constantly being reminded that your love isn’t equally reciprocated.
“Moon Song” by Phoebe Bridgers is the most depressing of the songs I’m going to recommend, but it conveys that same feeling. Her lyrics, “So I will wait for the next time you want me / Like a dog with a bird at your door,” have stuck with me since I first listened to the song.
In “reckless driving” by Lizzy McAlpine and Ben Kessler, they sing about not wanting to get into any kind of relationship in the first place. The outro is heavenly, and the song’s harsh stop at the end mirrors how hard it hits when a relationship that’s been going downhill for a while finally ends — even if you were anticipating that end from the start.
The last song I recommend for anyone recovering from anything that ended romantically is “love is embarrassing” by Olivia Rodrigo. She sings about having to explain herself to her friends every time a guy wrongs her — and that has to be the most relatable experience of all.
I’ll be back with more music next week. Until then, don’t forget, I’m always here to listen.
