No matter what I’m doing or where I am, I almost always have my headphones on. I have an avid love and appreciation for music and art, although I admittedly don’t have much talent in either. Nonetheless, making playlists has always been the way I keep music in the center of my life and happiness.
Instead of going on a shopping spree for a new wardrobe or making a list of dorm essentials, the first thing I did this past summer was reorganize all my Spotify playlists.
One playlist was comprised of my favorite fall albums that largely featured songs from Red (Taylor’s Version)” and “Evermore” by Taylor Swift and “Stranger In The Alps” by Phoebe Bridgers. I titled it “How did I go from growing up to breaking down?” after lyrics from Swift and Phoebe’s joint “Nothing New.”
My second addition was a playlist that heavily featured songs from Hozier’s then-recently released album, “Unreal Unearth.” I named it “Heaven is not fit to house a love like you and I” after lyrics from Hozier’s “Francesca.”
Lastly, I curated a blend of “Renaissance” and “Lemonade” by Beyoncé to serve as a powerful soundtrack to drown out the nerves of taking on new, uncharted territory.
Sadly, I put all that effort into making the perfect college soundtrack only to find myself too busy to listen to it. Amidst the overwhelming whirlwind of starting college, I avoided listening to music altogether. Between meeting new people and taking on new classes, I felt like I had no time to engage in my favorite pastime anymore.
It wasn’t until one of my hometown friends texted me saying that my Spotify was lacking that made me realize howI hadn’t made a new playlist in months. I wasn’t even routinely listening to music. I was officially in a music rut.
I don’t delete my playlists because sometimes I rediscover old gems, but even when I tried reaching back to older playlists, I still found myself skipping every song. My entire music library felt used and tired.
There wasn’t a lack of new releases during first semester. Taylor Swift dropped “1989 (Taylor’s Version)” and Boygenius even came out with “The Rest.” I just couldn’t bring myself to stray from my music library.
I wanted the familiarity of my old playlists back, but when I would listen to “How did I go from growing up to breaking down?” each song made me feel further away instead of familiar. Even though I made new playlists for the sole purpose of listening to them in college, I still somehow harped back to all of my memories from high school.
Through this, I’ve learned that my playlists have become more than mere collections of songs. I’ve started to see them as representations of important periods of my life. I desperately tried to bring all the songs that held my comforting old memories into college as if they would act as a shield to protect me from the challenges that came with the new transition, including homesickness.
As I’ve come to terms with the fact that it is okay to miss my old friends while making new ones, I’ve also begun to accept that retiring old playlists isn’t equivalent to erasing memories.
Beyoncé released two singles, “Texas Hold ‘Em” and “16 Carriages,” during the Super Bowl. While I associate “Renaissance” by Beyoncé with some of my best friends from home, “16 Carriages” is now my go-to song for walking down Commonwealth Avenue after class in the pouring rain. Embracing new music and cherishing past memories aren’t mutually exclusive.
I hadn’t listened to Ariana Grande regularly since middle school, but she found her way back into my rotation over spring break. I drove through my hometown, blasting her new album, “Eternal Sunshine,” while watching the sun set, remembering now that no matter how much I miss the comfort of my friends from home, summer is just over the horizon.
At the same time, I was itching to be back in Boston to talk about Lizzy McAlpine and Wallows’ upcoming albums with my new friends.
Long story short I’m finally getting excited about music again. I’m sure that’s something that first semester Olivia would be happy to hear.
