A freshman who is halfway through their first semester of college is inarguably at one of the most unstable, confusing, erratic stages of life there is.

Being flipped around forces you to look at everything — relationships, eventual career choices, friendships, the school you’re at or even if you should be at school at all. It is frightening and it is overwhelming, but I have without a doubt learned more about myself in this short amount of time than I ever knew to be possible.

I have learned that at the end of the day, there is only you. The decisions we’ve made have finally culimanted into our life — the school we picked, the people we surround ourselves with, our choice in major (at the moment). Our parents are not the ones going to class. Our friends are (hopefully) not the ones dating our significant others. The rankings of the best, most prestigious, ridiculously expensive schools in America still don’t know what it’s like to actually live on campus. I have seen this realization hit everyone: for some it comes back lit and sparkling, for others it is painted in gray. I have seen decisions that people made for anything other than themselves go up in flames. This could be anything from staying in an unhealthy long-distance relationship to being at the wrong school, but no matter what, it is inarguable that the independence college grants you is accompanied by an unrelenting sense of accountability.

I’ve learned a lot about priorities since I’ve been here. Classes are hard and the social scene is all over the place. There needs to be time to eat and exercise and function as a human being too. I have learned a lot about where my priorities lie, and I have relearned the importance of balance all over again — something I was lucky to have instilled in me at a young age, and something I have already deemed to be the most important part of getting by in college.

I’ve realized how much and how fast my first-semester-freshman self is bound to change in the next four years. My balance of priorities is absolutely going to shift — probably even before next semester, as is everything else. It is only November, and I, along with others, am already questioning my major decisions. I have seen relationships and friendships changing and growing simply as a result of people growing and changing themselves. I have learned people go through this process at different paces, and sometimes that means it has the ability to break something that once made a lot of sense.

I have a newfound appreciation for how long it takes to get to know someone. I better understand why my childhood friends know what I am going to say before I do, and how hard and rare that is to come by. I’ve realized a lot about how I was raised, about how much I owe my parents and about how important home is.

I have learned that we are at an age where it is still acceptable and understandable to not have it all figured out. This said, I have learned the importance of capitalizing on that. I look forward to taking classes until I figure out exactly what i want to do. I look forward to meeting people, to walking away from some, to joining a club i was always interested in but never really had the guts to try.

In a time of such drastic change and metamorphosis, turbulence is always going to be a bit heightened, but I do believe it’s going to be fun and fulfilling and scary and heartbreaking and exciting all the way through.