Multicolored phrases filled chalkboards in Marsh Plaza Tuesday, covering the slate with answers to the prompt “If you could see me know … you’d see …”
Boston University students, staff, faculty and passersby were encouraged to reflect upon loved ones who have died and to raise awareness of youth grief. Messages ranged from “I have a friend!!” and “that I’ve grown, let go & I’m very happy,” to “I’m graduating!” and “I got my dream job!”
The Day of Remembrance event was organized by BU’s chapter of Actively Moving Forward, a national grief support network for students college campuses. Roughly one in three college students dealt with the death of a family member or close friend within the last year, according to the organization’s website.
Allison Zuckerberg, BU’s chapter president, said she started planning the Day of Remembrance in the beginning of the semester and that BU’s Student Activities Office approved the event request right away.
“Grief is overlooked,” the College of Arts and Sciences senior said. “Even though it’s considered a normal part of life, it gets ignored and perhaps not talked about enough.”
Zuckerberg said she hoped the Day of Remembrance would validate the struggles of students who were grieving and foster a kinship among other students who could relate.
The end of the school year represents a time for reflection among students, said Kevin Wang, vice president of the chapter. For some, he said, the blackboard provided an opportunity for people to communicate with lost loved ones in a different way.
“It helps with making the BU community a little more tight-knit,” the College of Arts and Sciences freshman said. “We all have a shared experience through this event — it’s kind of there for everyone to see.”
Several people who wrote on the board said they appreciated having the outlet to share their experiences and accomplishments and that they hoped something similar would be done each year.
Kristen Manning, a senior in the College of Arts and Sciences, said she lost her father five years ago and that while she was hesitant to write on the board, doing so felt “really nice.”
“Maybe, if he’s looking down from heaven, he can see it,” Manning said.
Shaina Benoit, a first-year graduate student in the School of Social Work, said she lost someone close to her at the beginning of her graduate studies. She said grief does not often get discussed when people are trying to focus on coursework.
“Emotional health and health outside of academia will impact a student’s success while they’re here,” Benoit said. “Being able to talk about difficult things like grief or struggles outside of the classroom is helpful to give room to be able to learn and grow.”
Others said that while they did not have anyone in particular in mind when writing on the board, it represented an opportunity to showcase their perseverance overcoming hardships while at school.
“I’d been going through a pretty tough semester with a lot of personal issues,” Esiri Madagwa, a junior in the College of Engineering, said. “I wrote, ‘A strong, motivated Black Man,’ and I think after everything I’d been through this semester, that’s the most important thing to me.”
CAS junior Andrew Chiao, who wrote about turning 21 that day, said he was thinking about his entire family when he wrote on the board.
“I think a lot of people, especially at school, are separated from their families,” Chiao said. “This prompt makes people think about people who aren’t here physically but helped us get here to university.”
Claudia Devlin, treasurer of the group at BU, wrote in an email that she thinks events like the Day of Remembrance are important because they serve as distractions from hectic school schedules and opportunities to reflect on impactful moments in people’s lives.
“We want this to be a safe space where we discuss all kinds of topics and plan our volunteering and events and allow you to breathe in the midst of a difficult semester,” Devlin wrote.
Wang, who will be the club’s president next year, said that for students who may be grieving, the group holds meetings biweekly at the Howard Thurman Center. Students are encouraged to reach out and attend a meeting if they feel like they need support.
Love it! Thank you so much for featuring Actively Moving Forward’s event!