METCALF: The essence of the game

On Saturday, 65 teams converged in four different apartments around the Boston University campus to partake in America’s college pastime: beer pong.The tournament, set up just like College Basketball’s March Madness &-&- and astutely named April Madness &-&- was set up via Facebook and included 130 people.Each team paid $10, allotting $450 for the winner and $200 for the runner-up.

The teams were an eclectic mix.Bo and Krysta were inspired by “Risky Business” and came dressed in long blue shorts and high white socks. They were eliminated in the first round.There was Alex and his teammate Harry.Alex is well known as being a defensive specialist, but that talent couldn’t get him past the second round.Two BU basketball players towered over the competition, but their height only got them to the Sweet 16.Too bad they couldn’t do that last month.

My teammate Jesse and I also made it to the Sweet 16, where we were dispatched in a nail-biter to Prab and his friend Nate.We lost in quadruple overtime after failing to close, but sometimes that’s just how beer pong goes.

However, one of the things that came out of this tournament, as it always seems to do in beer pong, were the arguments over how the game should be played.So, let’s once and for all clear things up.

First, let’s start with the name. It makes sense that beer pong refers to the old school game where players would try to hit ping pong balls into opposing players’ cups with paddles.So, technically the game without paddles should be called something else.Beirut, you might be thinking? No, it shouldn’t be called Beirut. That’s already the capital of a country.Beer pong fits. Everyone knows what you’re talking about.

Now that that’s settled, what about the rules?Like baseball, beer pong is played in different environments.There are no exact dimensions for tables, but it’s generally accepted that a player should shoot from about eight to 10 feet away.The World Series of Beer Pong lists their official table length at eight feet.However, most college students don’t have eight-foot tables lying around.This was clear at the tournament, where most tables were only about six feet long.So of course, people started calling “leaning and elbows,” probably two of the most ridiculous complaints in beer pong.

Leaning and elbows is basically standing too close when taking a shot so that your elbow extends over the edge of the table. It’s normally enforced after the fact and is impossible to gauge without a referee.Some people just have natural leans in their shot.However, there’s a simple solution to this problem.There should be a clearly demarcated line at which players must keep their feet behind.As long as their feet are behind this line, let them lean. If they can lean so far that their elbow crosses the edge of the table, so what, as long as their feet are behind the line.

I played many games on huge tables at fraternity houses when I was a member.Certain frats allow leaning.I’ve seen countless people find out about this rule and then try to lean across the table to hit a shot.Nine times out of 10, they’ll miss.A natural shot is going to work better than a huge lean.

Another thing I’d like to dispose of are the gimmicks.Why do players feel the need to say they’re heating up like in NBA Jam T.E. after they hit two shots in a row? Your hand isn’t going to catch on fire and you’re not about to turn into the Incredible Hulk of beer pong.If you hit three shots in a row, congratulations, keep playing. I’m not even going to get into behind the back.You New Jersey kids need to stop wasting peoples’ time trying to hit a shot you shouldn’t even be taking.Then there’s the island &- the one where if there’s an isolated cup away from the rack, you can call island, and if you hit the “island” cup you get two cups for your one shot.Well, if you were better at the game you probably wouldn’t have left the island out there in the first place.

A cup is a cup.Unless it’s a bounce, then it’s two.Bring-backs only if you and your teammate hit different cups.Pull your cups once they’re hit.If both players hit the same cup, it’s three cups &-&- you should have pulled your cup.If you do pull your cup but don’t drink the beer, then a ball landing in it is game.Drink your beer; it gets warm and gross when you don’t.Besides, I’m not so serious about the game to not realize what it’s all about.

I’ll be the first to admit that one of the beauties of beer pong is giving the house the ability to make rules.These rules can be fun.I love places where bounces off the ceiling count for two cups.But the rules should also make sense with the essence of the game.So to avoid conflicts, mark a line, allow leaning, get rid of the gimmicks and don’t forget to drink your beer.